


What's a lil' bit of hunger?

by B99fangirlnextdoor



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Anorexia, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fainting, Friendship, Gen, Hospital, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Really cute Rosa / Amy scenes, Refeeding Syndrome, Starvation, dianetti, peraltago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-10 04:11:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17418863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B99fangirlnextdoor/pseuds/B99fangirlnextdoor
Summary: When Amy starts acting odd, Rosa is determined to find out the cause of it. But the truth hurts more than she ever thought it could.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Given the content of this fic, I probably had far too much fun writing it. It was written in the week I waited to be approved for this site. I wanted to practice writing Rosa and Amy and explore how they'd react when one of them developed an eating disorder. I tried to portray Rosa as the secret sweetheart she is, while also trying to convey her uncertainty of how to react and handle the situation because she is generally not great with emotions or feelings. I toyed with the idea of the roles being reversed, but I kind of love soft Rosa (I can imagine Rosa doing awful things to Amy if she found out Rosa had an ED), and plenty of Amy's characteristics play in my favour with it this way around. I'm basing Amy's thoughts, feelings, and behaviours (regarding the ED) off my own when I suffered from Anorexia with Bulimic tendencies. I don't focus on the ED itself, rather more their relationship and how it develops.
> 
> With that said, please look after yourselves & don't read it if it might trigger you. Each chapter has the letters TW (Trigger Warning) and then a list of what that chapter contains that could be triggering. Please be safe & if anyone needs to talk don't be afraid to reach out to me on Tumblr (theb99fangirlnextdoor)
> 
> Other than that, enjoy and leave feedback, so I know how to improve & prompts are always welcome :)
> 
> NB: I'm British, we spell things differently in UK English vs American English.
> 
> Prompt: We work in a police force full of dudes. We got to have each other's backs, okay?

TW: Strong language, References to eating disorders (especially anorexia in this ch), a detailed description of a severely underweight body, talk of self-hate, side effects (mainly being cold all the time for now), talk of severe calorie restriction, etc.

Detective Amy Santiago was used to working late, in fact, she enjoyed it. It was always quiet, and it provided her with ample opportunity to catch up on her paperwork after a busy week. She stood up from her desk, rolled blanket in one hand, files in another as she made her way through to the break room, knowing the night shift crew would arrive soon and whoever was replacing her would need her desk. Shutting the door with her foot, Amy placed the files on the table, turned on the space heater and slumped into an old worn chair, pulling the blanket across her lap as she began to work.

"Santiago!"

Amy jumped, causing her hand to slip across the page. Amy growled. "You've just ruined my work-" Amy trailed off and smiled nervously as she spotted the familiar shadow of Detective Rosa Diaz towering over her. "Oh heyyyy Rosa." Amy's co-worker glared at her "I'm just, erm, finishing up on a case, we've had a manic week an-." "You think I don't know that, Santiago?" Diaz interrupted "I've been here all week, same as you." Amy nodded "I - I didn't mean to dismiss the wor-."

Rosa hardened her glare and took a step towards Amy "The *wonderful* work you've been doing." Now disinterested, Rosa cut her off. "It's boiling in here." Amy nodded "It's January, so I've got the space heater on." Rosa peered under the table and scoffed "You're wearing a blanket?" Amy scooted her chair under the table further, making Rosa smirk. "I'm cold." For a brief second Rosa considered raising her concerns with her friend. "Amy..." Rosa softened her stance, and for a few brief seconds, she averted her gaze to hide the worry that was passing over her face. Rosa thought better of it. Looking back up at Amy's weary eyes, she resumed her natural position of indifference. "You look like shit." Amy recoiled, not knowing what to say. "Let's go grab a drink. Help you relax." The younger brunette looked down at her work hesitantly, knowing she needed to crack on.

"Come on, put those away, shift's over, you can do them tomorrow." "No... I've got to finish these reports tonight if I want to impress Holt." Rosa snorted at the mention of their captain. Amy was such a suck up. "A- and, um, bring this erm.. criminal to justice." Rosa looked Amy dead in the eye, unfolded her arms and slammed them down on the table, making Amy jump. "I wasn't asking."

Rosa was fucking petrifying, Amy thought, but it appeared she was only taking her to the bar because she cared and wanted to get Amy to have fun and relax. After all, she hadn't been out with either Rosa or any of the other members of the squad for a few weeks now. It was partly because Amy wanted to get fit and lose weight and somewhat because work had been so chaotic. Although mainly the latter. Definitely the latter. Besides, everyone wants to lose weight. So what if she didn't want to drink a weeks allowance in a day?

"What you drinking?" Rosa's voice brought Amy out of her thoughts. "I... umm..." The bartender huffed at Amy, making her advert her gaze "Just water please." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Really, Santiago?" Amy nodded, making Rosa scoff. She wondered why she ever made Amy come out with her in the first place, her coworker was sometimes dull, but she usually was more than happy to have a drink. Although Rosa wasn't comfortable expressing it, she was concerned about Amy. The brunette hadn't been out to any social gathering in forever, not even when their captain invited her to a dinner party, which for her, was not only out of character, but downright worrying. Rosa looked away and downed half her beer in one gulp. Amy was an adult and could take care of herself. They were here to relax. The two ladies sat in perfect silence as they drank their drinks and unwound. Well, Rosa unwound. Amy spent the night secretly googling the micronutrients of water.

When Rosa arrived at work the next day, Amy was already sat at her desk working, which wasn't unusual, although something felt... off. The sound of Jake Peralta entering the bullpen interrupted her thoughts. "I'm here cap'n!" Holt turned around from his assistant's desk and looked at his watch "3 minutes early, well done, Peralta. Although it's captain, not Cap'n." Jake grinned as Charles Boyle high fived him. "That's my boy!" Rosa snorted as Jake pulled a face at his best friends eagerness.

As everyone settled down to work (apart from Gina who just sat playing on her phone), Rosa glanced over at Amy. She was wearing her winter coat still. Perhaps that was the difference. Although she was weirdly silent. Rosa looked around the room, nobody else seemed to be worried. Maybe she was overreacting. She wasn't good at this emotional crap.

Amy stood up and began to walk to the bathroom, weaving and onto the wall. Rosa frowned "You okay Santiago?" Amy nodded "Yeah I'm fine, I think I'm hungover from last night." Rosa's dark eyes narrowed. Why would she lie? Jake looked up from his work "Wait, we didn't go out last night." Then he gasped. "You went out without us!" Amy groaned and continued to stagger to the bathroom, white as a sheet "Well done detective, another great solve." She called over her shoulder, but her voice lacked its usual edge. Jake grinned, dipping his head in a silly playful bow, "I thank you." Amy didn't look right to Rosa, she didn't want to invade her privacy, but she also wanted to make sure her friend was okay. On impulse, she stood up and walked after Amy. Jake turned to Charles "What's wrong with her?" "Leak week probably." It took a second for what he meant to sink into Jake's mind, but when he cottoned on it was extremely apparent. "Urahhh! Boyle! TMI!"

Amy stood in front of the mirror, water dripping from her lips. Sink water was never pleasant, but she was desperately thirsty and needed to drink. Amy closed her eyes as a wave of vertigo hit her hard as her stomach growled. Without hesitation, Amy punched it. Hunger pains were almost unbearable now. Amy opened her eyes and gazed at her reflection. To eat would be to gain rapidly. Besides, she was nowhere near skinny enough. If she wanted to impress her dates with her body, she needed to lose more. Much more. There was no way she was giving up. Nothing tastes as good as skinny would feel.

Rosa walked into the bathroom, and her eyes fell on Amy. "Alright Santiago, what's going on?" Amy turned to face Rosa "Nothing. I'm fine." Rosa growled. "Don't lie to me." She stalked up to Amy, arms crossed and glaring. "Even if I wasn't OK, it is none of your business." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Sorry! I didn't mean that I j-just... I... um.." Amy's arm reached out to grab the sink. Rosa softened. "You okay, Santiago?" Amy nodded "Yeah... I'm fine... I just... erm... need a second." Amy squinted as her vision blurred and her ears rang.

All of a sudden Amy's body shook and Jerked. Her head dropped, and her knees started to give way. Rosa leapt forward and closed her arms around Amy's body, just in time to catch her as her legs gave out. "I've got you."

Rosa lowered Amy to the floor before taking off her tie and undoing her top button. As she did, she noticed how prominent her collar bones were. Rosa frowned. Amy was right, it was none of her business. But this could be serious. She took a deep breath before sliding her layers of clothes up so she could see the true extent of the damage. Rosa's heart broke as she was met with the sight of dull skin stretched tight over Amy's prominent bones. As she ran her hands down Amy's body, feeling for muscle, it became apparent the poor girl hadn't been eating correctly in months, because where there was meant to be muscle, there was only bone and a thin layer of fat.

"Oh Amy," she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Rosa convince Amy she needs help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to post this chapter so soon, but what the heck. Not sure about the car scene but decided to leave it in for now. If you guys have any tips, kudus & general comments / suggestions are greatly appreciated. Originally this piece was a 3 chapter piece. Do you guys like it enough to potentially do 5/6 chapters??

TW: Recovery from fainting, Physical restraint, graphic imagery of starvation & realisation of ED (for amy, which proves to be hard on her emotionally speaking)

 

The first thing Amy heard was Rosa. "Easy Santiago, it's okay." Amy's mouth was dry and tasted of metal. Whining, she forced her eyelids open. It was blurry, but she could just about make out Rosa's figure. She paused for a second before trying to push herself up into a sitting position, only to be pushed back down. "Just relax." Amy ignored her and tried again. Rosa didn't want to risk Amy trying to get up in case she was injured or fainted again, so she pinned Amy to the floor firmly but gently. 

"Let go of me. I want to get up." Amy was beginning to wake up properly now and tried to push Rosa off her. "Dude, I need you to relax, I don't know if you're hurt yet and I don't want you to make it worse." Amy stopped struggling and stared at Rosa, a look of bemusement on her face. "Did you just admit you're worried about me?" Rosa looked away "Maybe." Amy smiled to herself. Rosa Diaz cares about her. "I knew you were a big ol' softie deep down." She whispered. Rosa groaned but let it slide. "I'm going to let go now, but don't try to get up just yet, okay?" 

Rosa stood up and stretched, trying to decide whether or not to risk moving Amy. She didn't have her phone on her, and if she went to go get it Amy might try to get up or, worse, head out to the bullpen and try to continue working when it was obvious she wasn't fit to do so. She could stay with Amy and call for help (which is maybe what she should have done in the first place) but that was going to cause chaos. Amy didn't need that right now. Rosa's deduction left one possible option.

Sighing, Rosa crouched down next to Amy. "Before I move you, does anywhere hurt?" Rosa started to feel Amy's neck, causing the prudish brunette to pull away and frown "Wait, what?" "Answer the question." Amy shook her head "No, I don't think so, but why were you feeling me up?" Rosa rolled her eyes "I was checking to make sure you hadn't hurt your neck." Amy stared at Rosa "What is going on with you today?" Rosa puffed herself out, now sick of Amy's questions "I'm going to pick you up and carry you to my desk so we can call an ambulance." 

Amy's smile vanished. "No ambulance." She tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by Rosa."Santiago, you're sick, you need help." Amy gritted her teeth in a snarl, roughly shoving Rosa back (it was a lot less powerful than she thought) and sitting up "Fuck off. I'm not being told what to do by you of all people." Rosa sucked in a breath. Amy had never sworn at her before.

 

Five minutes later, Amy was sat against the wall with Rosa standing in front of her. "No hospital." Rosa couldn't help but wonder why Amy was so scared of the hospital but decided against asking for now. "I did three years of Med school, but I don't know how to help you as much as I'd like, so I shouldn't be doing this." Amy blinked. Rosa had gone to medical school? "If you don't want to go to the hospital, then I say we get you out of here, take you to a doctor and get you referred to someone who can help." Amy hesitated. "Or I call an ambulance now and you go to the hospital. The choice is yours." Amy gave a tiny nod "Okay. But only if you stay with me." Rosa's lips upturned in a tiny smile "Deal."

"Are you okay to stand and walk to my car?" Amy was weak, tired and dizzy. "I don't think so... I mean I can try." Amy grabbed onto the sink and started to hoist herself up, but stopped when Rosa shook her head "Too risky." Rosa knelt down next to Amy "I'm going to carry you, okay?" Amy looked worried "What if someone sees us?" Rosa shrugged "You slipped and sprained your ankle, and I'm taking you to the doctor." Amy nodded, satisfied with the plan. There was a pause before she looked into Rosa's deep brown eyes "Thank you." Rosa looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. "For not making me go to the hospital I mean." Rosa grunted "No problem."

Amy was underweight, probably dangerously so, but yet Rosa was surprised at just how light she was when she slid her arms under her and carried her towards the bullpen. Amy was enjoying the ride almost too much. She rested her head on Rosa's shoulder, loving how strong Rosa was, and if nothing else she felt safe and protected while snuggled up to her, which was something she hasn't felt in a long time. Rosa glanced down at the tiny frame that rested in her arms and smiled.

"I didn't realise this was an officer and a gentleman situation!" Peralta quipped, his childish grin plastered across his face as the duo made their way through the bullpen. "Shut up Peralta" Rosa snapped. Everyone had turned around to stare and make smart ass comments, even Gina glanced up from her phone to laugh and take a photo. "This is going straight on my Instagram page #nerdfail!"

Hearing the commotion, Holt came out of his office and stared at Rosa and Amy. Rosa approached him "Santiago's injured sir." Amy's eyes shot open and she lifted her head out of respect for her captain. "I can see that detective, as can everyone in this room, did you not to think to call an ambulance?" "It's just a rolled ankle sir, I don't need an ambulance." Amy smiled nervously, hearing the slight panic in her voice, Rosa squeezed her in assurance she had the situation under control. "I'm taking Santiago to the doctor myself." "Don't you have work to be getting on with?" Rosa nodded "Yes, but my co-worker's health takes priority." The captain nodded slowly. "Very well, you may take the day off, but I expect you in tomorrow Diaz." The captain turned around and headed back into his office.

Rosa set Amy down at her desk opposite Jake who delighted in this opportunity by pulling faces at them suggestively. Ignoring him, Rosa turned to Amy. "Grab what you need, I'm taking you home after." "So that is how it is, is it?" Jake wolf whistled to emphasise his point. Rosa glared at him. "Don't." Jake couldn't help himself "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." With a flick of her wrist, Rosa pulled out her baton and extended it, causing Amy to jump. Grabbing Jake's shirt, Rosa leaned in, glaring "What did I just say?." she growled. Jake held his hands up but kept grinning "Someone's got a big case of the gwumpies today!" "Shut up Peralta." Amy groaned, rubbing her forehead. 

Rosa stepped back from Jake and looked at Amy worriedly. "You okay Santiago?" Amy nodded, but she looked anything but. "Come on, let's get you out of here." Jake went to comment but was silenced with a look from Terry, who didn't fancy clearing up after yet another one of Rosa's fights.

 

Rosa gathered her phone and car keys from her desk before slinging her backpack over one shoulder. "Put my helmet in your locker Peralta." Jake opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by Rosa's warning glare. For some reason that day she was extra irritable and he wanted to leave with all his limbs attached.

 

Having safely carried Amy out of the building and into her car, Rosa fastened her seatbelt before turning to Amy who sat with her eyes closed. She hoped she hasn't made a mistake in agreeing not to take her to hospital. The rest of the car journey to the doctor was spent with just the radio filling the silence.

Rosa figured she should bring it up before they went in for the emergency appointment with the doctor. As she parked the car around the back of the doctor's surgery, she took a deep breath and turned to Amy. Amy opened her eyes "We're here already?" "Yeah." Amy turns to get out of the car. "Wait." There was a pause as Rosa steadied herself "I'm worried about you, Santiago." Amy blinked. What was happening? "When you fainted, I got a pretty good look at the state you're in."

Amy stared at Rosa. "I'm not in any state." Rosa sighed "Yes you are. You're all skin and bones." Amy subconsciously wrapped her hands around her stomach. "You felt me up while I was unconscious?" Rosa shook her head slightly "No." There was a pause. "Well, then how do you know what 'state' I'm in then?" Rosa sighed. Amy really wasn't making this easy. "I could feel your bones through your clothes." Amy scoffed angrily before undoing her seatbelt and opening the car door. Rosa grabbed her arm. "Get your hands off me!" Anger built in Rosa's stomach. She leaned closer to Amy emphasising her words in a low, firm growl as she spoke: "If you run, I will catch you, and I will call an ambulance." Amy pulled a face and closed the door.

"Why are you so scared of the hospital?" Amy shuffled in her seat. "I'm not." Rosa blinked. "Dude, I've just had to threaten to call an ambulance to get you to hear me out." The brunette shrugged "Didn't want my insurance premium to go up." "I'm not stupid." Amy shuffled in her seat. "When I was younger, I was treated for anorexia. It was hell on earth and I never want to go through that again." Rosa softened "You're already going through it again. Just alone this time." Amy shook her head "No I'm not, I'm better." Rosa reached over to her friend, resting her hand on her lap "You're not though." Amy pushed Rosa's hand off her, blinking back tears "Yes I am."

"Amy..." Rosa sighed "Recline your seat. The button is on your right." Frowning, Amy did what she was told. "I'm going to lift up your shirt, okay?" Amy closed her eyes as Rosa lifted up her clothes. "You've got a lot of layers on." "I'm cold." "The reason you're cold is because you've hardly got any fat on you." Amy scoffed "What are you talking about? " Rosa took Amy's hand and placed it on her prominent ribs. "Feel that? You're all skin and bones." Amy shook her head, tears in her eyes "No I'm not." Rosa slid Amy's hand down her stomach. "Your stomach was toned at one point, but now there's no muscle where it should be." Amy covered her ears "You're lying!" Rosa gently pulled Amy's hands off her ears. "I'm not, Amy." She placed her index finger and thumb around Amy's arm. "I shouldn't be able to do that." Amy shook her head violently. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you're underweight, and if you keep going, you'll be dead."

Amy stared at Rosa, tears running down her cheek. "No..." she rubbed her eyes "I can't... It can't..." Rosa let go of Amy's arm. "You need help, Amy." Amy burst into sobs "No..." "Rosa pulled her quivering friend into her arms, hushing and rocking her despite the fact Amy's bones dug into her like knives.

Rosa pulled away and sat up. As soon as she spotted Amy's face she struggled to contain a grin. "Here." She pulled the visor down and flipped the mirror open "You look like hurricane sandy just spat you out." Amy glanced in the mirror and giggled. It was true, she was completely dishevelled. She pulled out a hairbrush and fixed her hair before tucking her vests and shirt in, doing up the top button on her collar and smoothing out her blazer. She turned to Rosa who was holding a makeup wipe. "Thanks," Amy mumbled, wiping cheeks and eyes clean. 

"Urah! Now all my makeup has come off!" Amy reached into her bag and started to fiddle with a compact foundation container. "Amy." Rosa's voice was softer than it normally was. Amy stopped and turned to look at her. "You look beautiful without makeup." Amy blushed and smiled to herself. "Awww, you called me beautiful." Rosa looked away and rolled her eyes, faking nonchalance "Whatever."

There was a pause as Amy wiped the remaining makeup off her face and applied some lip balm. Rosa glanced at her phone "We'd better go in before we miss our appointment." Amy turned around in a panic, making Rosa snort. "Crap I forgot! I hope you can run in those boots, Diaz."

(She can, even with Amy in her arms.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has finally accepted she has an issue, and Rosa tries to convince her to drink her meal replacement drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter strikes home for me. It's got some really cute Rosa moments and we really start seeing her soften 'all the way'.
> 
> Lemme know what you think of it. Originally the story ended here but I'm continuing it on because I feel that there's so much more I can explore.
> 
> Kudos, comments and prompts / ideas are always welcomed. Thank you to all who've supported me so far.

Rosa parked up outside Amy's apartment. "Give me your keys." Amy opened her eyes, blinking a few times before coming to her senses "Wait... what?" "I'm going to go up and unlock your door." Amy relaxed "Oh." "Also, I should put these in the fridge." Rosa gestured to the paper bag filled with nutrition replacement drinks that the doctor prescribed. Amy looked down at her feet nodding and biting her lip. "Look Santiago, this thing is more complicated than pouring smoothie down your throat." There was a pause. "You have your first therapy appointment in a few days." Amy knew she would rather not go and suffer than be forced to gain weight again. 

"They're not making me eat." Rosa reached out to rest her hand on Amy's shoulder. "In the meantime, I'm staying with you." Rosa paused before looking into Amy's eyes "I can't do much to stop what you're going through, but I can be here to make sure you're not doing it alone." Closing her eyes, Rosa turned away and punched her thigh "I'm sorry, that was stupid sentimental crap." Amy shook her head "No Rosa, that was nice." She smiled "It's good to know you've got me." Rosa rolled her eyes. "Alright, that's enough sappy stuff. Let's get this stuff in." 

Rosa unlocked the door to Amy's flat and headed straight into the living room. She knew Amy was sat in the car shivering and barely awake, so she had to be quick. Rosa grabbed the space heater in the corner and turned it on to high, before going into the guest bedroom and ripping the pristine floral pattern duvet off the bed. She carried it through, laying it over the weird couch so Amy could be laid onto it and quickly wrapped up. 

 

When Rosa went to collect Amy, she was sat shivering, but half asleep. Rosa wondered how she had missed how sick her friend was. Looking at her now, pale and malnourished, it was obvious. Amy's hair used to be thicker and glossier, now it hung limply around her shoulders, riddled with split ends. Her clear complexion used to have a lovely soft honey tone to it, but now it was dull and blemished. As for her misshapen body, the sleek, toned look was long gone, leaving clothes sagging against her skin. Rosa had never known Amy to take a day off sick in the 9 years she'd known her, but now she just looked... ill.

"Let's get you inside." Amy jumped before looking up at Rosa and smiling. Rosa scooped her friend into her arms effortlessly, shutting the car door with her foot. Amy rested her head against Rosa's shoulder and closed her eyes.

Rosa glanced at Amy before snorting. "Sure this is your flat? Or have I just broken onto the set of Murder, she wrote?" Amy groaned, unimpressed "Haha, very funny." she mumbled. Rosa carried Amy through to her living room, placing her on the weird cream couch, and wrapping her up in the duvet. Amy opened her eyes "Did you steal this from the guest bedroom?" Rosa nodded, tucking her in. "I'd just finished ironing this." Amy whined. "Well it's this or freeze." Amy wriggled into the folds of the duvet apologetically "I'm sorry. This is nice. Thank you." 

 

There was an awkward moment of silence before Amy spoke up. "Make yourself comfy." Diaz snorted before throwing herself on a chair "I'm assuming you don't have any alcohol in, so that's not possible." Amy ignored her and closed her eyes.

It was hot. Very hot. But Rosa didn't dare turn the space heater off or crack open a window. Amy was curled up into a ball, shiver-free. Rosa sighed and pulled out her phone before googling 'How to get an anorexic to eat' and related queries. It didn't feel right asking the doctor whilst Amy was sat there, and it definitely wasn't right to ask Amy. All of the articles suggested going to the hospital for treatment, as staying at home was too risky and there was so much that could go wrong. Rosa gazed over at the tiny sleeping brunette and thought about how scared she was earlier when she suggested calling an ambulance. Rosa was going to have to risk treating her at home. 

 

Amy awoke a few hours later. "What time is it?" Rosa quickly hid her phone "4:19." Amy nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Shall we see what's on tv?" Rosa threw the remote at her "Ow!" Rosa grinned "Should have caught it then." 

Amy flicked through the TV channels before she found a documentary on penmanship. "No! We are not watching this crap!" Amy turned to Rosa, open-mouthed "I'm sick! You're meant to let me watch whatever I want!" Rosa scoffed. "Even if you were lying on the floor bleeding out I wouldn't be watching this with you." Amy made a face "Well I would hope you'd be stemming the flow of blood." "Don't get smart with me Santiago." but Rosa was smiling. "Fine, find something you're happy with, but no horror movies, I want to sleep tonight." Amy threw the remote at Rosa, who caught it mid-air. "See? Catching things isn't hard." Amy scoffed. "You going to choose something to watch or are you just going to sit there and brag?" 

"No need, I came prepared." Rosa stood up and walked over to the paper bag on the counter "I picked these up when I went in to get your stuff." she reached into the bag and pulled out several DVDs. "Ooo! Do you have Training day?"

Amy grinned as Rosa waved her favourite DVD in the air. Rosa spent the next 10 minutes fiddling with the DVD player. Once it was working, she walked back over to the counter and poured some of Amy's smoothie mix into a beaker. "Do you trust me?" Amy pulled a face "What are you doing?" "Answer the question." Amy looked away, shrugging. Rosa had threatened her partner earlier that day, and there was a brief moment where she wasn't sure if she was going to be robbed by the older woman. But she had spent pretty much all day looking after her, plus, she was the only one to voice her concerns. "Yeah. I trust you." 

Rosa approached Amy, beaker in her hand, making Amy cower slightly. "Sit up." Amy did as she was asked, but continued to suspiciously glare. "You have got to trust me and do as I say, okay?" Amy nodded as Rosa took a seat next to her. "You tell nobody of this" she growled before turning herself around, so she was facing the end of the couch. Rosa patted her stomach. "Come here." Amy froze for a second. Rosa was acting weird today. "Trust me." Amy shuffled herself between Rosa's legs, leaning against her stomach. Rosa tucked the duvet over Amy with one hand "Focus on the movie, and you'll be okay."

Rosa waited for Amy to relax before she pressed the nib of the beaker to her lips and slowly poured the liquid down her throat. "Drink." The taste of cold, sweet juice was both intoxicatingly pleasurable and panic-inducing. But Amy focused on the movie, and soon the beaker was empty. "Good girl." Amy closed her eyes, revelling in the praise.

Amy struggled to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about how many calories she had just drunk. She wasn't even full. Now she was hungry and fat. Behind her, Rosa was snoring softly. Amy slowly sat up before creeping to the bathroom. Standing made her dizzy but she could no longer bear the thought of not knowing how many calories she'd just drank.

Amy was leaned over the toilet. She was drooling uncontrollably and her throat burned. She hated the sensation of gagging, but she needed to rid of the drink. To stop would be to gain. Amy wiped the tears from her cheek and resumed.

10 minutes had passed. Rosa awoke with a startle and looked down to find Amy was not there. Looking around, she realised there were faint gagging sounds coming from the bathroom. Within seconds Rosa was on her feet and sprinting towards the bathroom door. "Santiago! I know you're in there! Open this door now!" Rosa yelled as she thumped on the bathroom door. There was no response. "Get back from the door." With one swift barge, the door fell down revealing a crying Amy stood in the bath.

"I failed." Amy was hysterical. Rosa wrapped her in her arms "No you didn't, you took a massive step today, and I am so proud of you." Amy continued to sob "I just couldn't bear the thought of gaining weight." Those words burned Rosa's mind. She shouldn't have left Amy on her own. This was her fault. Maybe the articles she read were right.

When Amy stopped crying, Rosa carried her into her bedroom. "It's been a tough day, you need to sleep." Once Amy was sat on her bed Rosa passed her a nightgown and left her to get changed. She was about to leave when Amy piped up "Can you, erm, stay? " Rosa blinked. "Um... sure." Amy rubbed her arms awkwardly "I can get changed myself, but I don't want to sleep alone, it's chilly in here." Rosa nodded and grabbed a spare nightgown out of Amy's draw before disappearing into the (doorless) bathroom to get changed.

When Rosa emerged from the bathroom, she knocked on Amy's bedroom door before entering to find her friend already tucked into bed and shivering. "I'll be back in a sec." Rosa turned around and walked out, only to return with the space heater. She plugged it in and set it on high before getting into bed. "Thanks," Amy whispered.

At first, it was awkward, and neither person knew what to do. But then Rosa glanced over to the frail existence that lay next to her and softened. She pulled Amy into her body and the two relaxed.

Now she was wrapped safely in Rosa's arms, Amy fell into a peaceful slumber. Seeing her friend asleep, Rosa closed her own eyes and let herself unwind. It had been a stressful day for both of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Amy wakes up in the middle of the night following a nightmare, she decides to weigh herself, which leads to a complete freak-out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are guys! Chapter four! Originally this was never going to happen, but so many people wanted me to carry it on, and I was kinda curious to see how Amy's life goes on. In this chapter, Amy has a meltdown following gaining 2 pounds. It's dramatic, I'll warn you, but for Amy, it's her reality. Luckily Rosa's right there, and the two share some adorable moments. Also in this chapter, the girls decide to tell two people from the squad for safety reasons as Rosa's forced to take Amy into work.

TW: SELF HARM, MELTDOWNS, NUMBERS, CALORIES ECT

Amy sat up, gasping. She looked around. Rosa was laying fast asleep next to her. It was a dream. Even so, she pulled her scales from underneath her bed. Taking a deep breath, Amy stepped on. 72 pounds. A thunderbolt of panic shot through her.

Rosa awoke to a crashing sound coming from the kitchen. Automatically her arm shot out to feel for Amy. Nobody was there. "Amy?" The crashing was replaced by a wailing sound. That was definitely Amy. Within seconds, Rosa was standing in the kitchen, looking around at the destruction. Amy's drink bottles lay empty on the floor, as was looked like the entirety of the contents of her fridge.

Rosa turned away from the destruction to face Amy, who stood crying hysterically in the corner. "What happened?" Amy tried to catch her breath so she could speak "- I- I'm f-fat!" Rosa couldn't work out how this tiny existence could possibly think she was fat, but she knew better than to challenge her. "Why do you think that, Amy?" Amy cried harder at the memory of the scales incident "S- eventy two!" Rosa was taken aback. If that was fat, what the fuck was skinny?

As Amy continued to sob Rosa's heart sank. She was bleeding. Rosa spun around, noticing a knife missing from the holder on the wall. "Where's the knife, Amy?" Amy shook her head "- I - need- it!" She gasped. "I- I'm f-fat!" "Santiago, give me the knife, or I'm calling the cops." Rosa held up her phone as visual reinforcement. Amy held her arms up and slid away from the weapon which was tucked behind her. Rosa quickly scooped it up "Thank you."

Placing the knife in the sink, Rosa's next task was to see if Amy needed stitches. "I need to see your wrists." Amy gave her no resistance and held them out for inspection, but looked away, wailing to herself. The wounds were bleeding, but superficial "You're lucky, you don't need to go to the hospital."Amy nodded, still sobbing as Rosa wrapped her arms around her, guiding her to the floor.

"Stay there, I'm going to get some dettol." Amy did as she was asked and continued sobbing to herself. Rosa found the Dettol in the medicine cabinet, along with cotton pads. She boiled the kettle and poured half the boiling water over a bowl before waiting for the remaining water to cool, pouring that into said bowl and adding a cap of dettol.

Amy eyed Rosa suspiciously as she approached her with the bowl of warm water and cotton pads. Sitting next to her, Rosa laid the container out in front of them, rolling up Amy's sleeves before dipping one of the pads into the water and ringing it out. "This might hurt a bit." Rosa was right, it stung like crazy.

 

Rosa watched Amy slowly calm down as she cleaned Amy's cuts. The issue was they now had no food in and Rosa wasn't comfortable leaving Amy on her own after her meltdown. "Okay, all done. How are you feeling?" Amy snuffled "Sad." Rosa nodded slightly "You will. The important thing is you're okay." Amy nodded and leaned into Rosa "Thank you for tonight."

Amy woke up to the smell of bacon. Still half asleep, she sat up. She wasn't in bed. Rosa looked over her shoulder "Morning." Why was she in the living room? Amy stood up and staggered into the kitchen. "See you've helped yourself then." Rosa grunted, "I would have let you wake up and cook, but I fancied something edible this morning."Amy gave an indignant "Hey!" making Rosa scoff.

Rosa took a deep breath "I had Peralta bring over some nice food after last night, figured you might prefer actual food to your drinks." Amy froze. Now she remembered why she woke up in the living room. "Go sit down and I'll serve you." "I... I can't." Rosa looked at Amy "I mean I-I'm not hungry." Rosa put down her spatula and turned off the heat. "You need to eat, Santiago. I'm serving up now, so go sit down." Amy opened her mouth to protest, causing Rosa to be firm. "I'm not asking." To Rosa's relief, the brunette reluctantly did as she was asked. "I'm not eating though."

Rosa placed Amy's plate in front of her before settling down to eat herself, watching as Amy poked her food across the plate. "Eat." Amy looked at Rosa, disgusted. "Did Jake get the low-fat sausages?" Rosa stopped eating "Let me worry about that. You eat your food." Amy wrinkled her nose."So that's a no then." Rosa ignored her.

"There's a new stationery shop opening up down the road." Amy stopped glaring at her plate and blinked. Rosa hated small talk. "We can stop off on the way to work if you want? They've got the new binder clips you were talking about the other day." Amy frowned "Cut the crap, you hate small talk, Rosa." Rosa nodded "Why are you making small talk with me then?" Rosa smiled "You're eating." Amy looked down. An entire egg had somehow vanished. Amy let out a loud wail "You bitch! You're making me fat!" Rosa fought with her instincts to stay as calm as she could "Keep going. You're not going to work unless you eat everything." Amy sighed stroppily "I'm not eating, and you can't make me." Rosa raised an eyebrow "You really want to test that theory Santiago?" Amy immediately remembered who she was talking to and backed down. "Now eat, or I'm calling in sick to stay with you." Amy sighed and picked up her fork, hand trembling slightly. "I hate you." Rosa was quick to change the subject. "So was that a yes to the stationary shop?"

Rosa really didn't want Amy to go into work, but she wasn't comfortable leaving Amy unsupervised. Getting Amy to accept lighter duties wasn't going to be easy. Unless, of course, she could convince their captain to put her on desk duty. There's no way she'd argue with him. Still, at least Amy had an egg and a sausage. It was only 300 calories, but it was definitely better than nothing, and would hopefully stop her fainting again this time. She did seem a bit brighter for it.

 

Amy emerged from her bedroom, fully dressed and ready for work. Rosa couldn't help but notice how loose Amy's clothes were. "I'm sorry for snapping at breakfast, I was scared, and I took it out on you." Rosa nodded "It's okay. I get it." She paused before continuing "But we need to talk about work and what's practical and safe."

Amy looked away, making Rosa sigh "It's dangerous out there, and you're going to get hurt." Amy nodded. "I know." "You're a grown woman, but I'm out on the street a lot and if you have an episode when I'm not there everyone will freak out." Amy closed her eyes, not wanting to hear what she knew Rosa was going to say. "I think we should tell Jake and Holt." Amy opened her eyes. "Jake?" she scoffed "Are you serious? He's so immature!" Rosa nodded "I know, but he's your partner."

The drive to work was silent. Amy couldn't believe she agreed to tell Jake of all people about her private life. Holt was going to be so disappointed in her. Maybe she shouldn't do this after all. Perhaps she should ask to 'tell them' alone.

Unfortunately for Amy, her captain isn't stupid. When the duo walk into the bullpen Holt was the first person to notice. "Santiago, why are you here? And how are you able to walk with your injured ankle?" Amy took a shaky deep breath. "Actually sir, that's what we wanted to talk to you about, can we talk in private?" The captain nodded and lead the ladies into his office.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Holt asked as he sat down. Rosa looked at Amy, who began to stutter. "I, I mean we, wanted to tell you that I erm -" Rosa cut Amy off "Santiago has an eating disorder, sir." The captain stayed stony-faced as ever as Rosa continued "She fainted yesterday, and as she didn't want to go to call an ambulance, I offered to take her to the doctor." The captain nodded slowly "I see. Is that why you were carrying detective Santiago? " Amy nodded, trying to formulate words. "Yes, sir."

"I can understand why you wouldn't want to share this with me at first, but I'm glad you have. Is there anything I can do to help?" Amy breathed a sigh of relief. The captain wasn't upset with her for lying. Rosa elbowed her, prompting Amy to speak "Actually sir, we were wondering if you could assign me to desk duty for now." The captain nodded "Was there anything else?" Rosa shook her head "No sir." And with that, they were dismissed.

The next challenge was telling Jake. Rosa agreed to let Amy tell him alone, but she was going to ask him to check he had indeed been informed. "You sure you don't want me to help out with the wording?" Amy shook her head "Jake and I are close, and I feel like I should be able to tell him without help." Amy paused "Even if he is going to make a bunch of inappropriate jokes." A groan rippled through her throat as Amy pulled a face "Do I have to tell him?" Rosa looked over her shoulder "Here he comes now. Good luck."

"Jake, can I speak to you in private?" Jake turned away from Charles and raised an eyebrow "You're walking Santiago, how did that happen?" Amy opened her mouth to speak but was cut off with a rather melodramatic gasp "You pretended to be sick so you could get the day off work and go home with Rosa!" Amy blinked "Was she as good as she claims to be? Jake grinned broadly, taking in Amy's disgusted face "First off, ew - Rosa and I didn't have sex! Second off, that's what I need to talk to you about." Jake nodded "Ohhhh... so you got her in bed but were too scared to do anything? Gotcha." Amy stared at her partner "No. That's not what happened." Jake looked disappointed "Well then why are we stood here talking about your depressing sex life when we could be out catching criminals?" "We're not talking about my sex life! You are talking about my sex life, I am not!" Jake pulled a face "Can we be talking about something when it doesn't exist?" Amy sighed "Meet me in the evidence room in five minutes, I need to talk to you in private."

Jake grinned as he spotted Amy hiding behind one of the shelves of evidence. "We're alone now, you can tell me what went on last night, no judgement, I promise." Amy spun around on her heels "Jake, shut up." Jake raised an eyebrow but remained silent "I need to tell you something, but it's a secret, okay? I'm only telling you because you're my partner." Jake grinned. "It's not about sex." Amy couldn't help but smile slightly at the disappointment on his face. "I don't even know how I'm going to say this, so I'm just going to blurt it out, okay?" Jake nodded, suddenly realising Amy was serious. "Yeah, sure." Amy took a deep breath "I have an eating disorder."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy's acting odd. Will Rosa realise her mistake before it's too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is heavily based on my own experiences. It's quite dramatic, but anorexia is no messing matter. Let me know how you like it. It might be a bit fast paced. I'm not sure. I spent 29 hours editing it, but I still can't decide. Tips appreciated

Jake's grin vanished as his eyes widened and he nodded his head. "Cool Cool CoolCool Cool Cool co-" Amy cut him off "Jake." He stopped and looked her in the eye "It's okay." Jake paused, not wanting to offend. "H-how?" Amy shrugged "I don't know. I had anorexia as a kid, and I've been dating for a while, which I guess just resurfaced those thoughts." Jake was shaking "I'm so sorry Ames. I- I should have noticed sooner." Amy reached out and rubbed her partner's shoulder "It's not your fault, okay?" Jake placed his hand on Amy's. She was cold, and her knuckles dug into him "Can I?" Amy nodded "No feeling my breasts though." Jake smiled a little as he ran his hands down Amy's arms "Who said I'd want to feel your boobs? Amy grinned. Jake was back.

The rest of the day went by unbearably slowly. Jake had to leave to follow a lead, and Amy was stuck with paperwork. Occasionally she'd spot Rosa glancing up from her desk to check on her, but otherwise, she was left to her own devices. Or at least, she thought she was.

Amy looked up to find Rosa stood over her with a lunchbox in her hand. With a darting glance, she looked around in case someone was watching, before whispering "I'm not a baby Rosa, I am capable of eating without prompts or being force-fed." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Prove it." She opened the lunchbox and handed Amy a banana. "I'm not hungry." Rosa scoffed "I didn't ask if you were hungry." Amy swallowed a gulp as Rosa leaned in and hissed "Break room. Now." 

Amy made sure to lock the door and close the blinds before slumping at the old table. Rosa handed her the banana "Eat." Amy sighed and peeled it before taking a small bite. "Happy?" Rosa nodded slowly "And the rest." Amy fought back the tears and rising panic in her stomach and tried to focus on Rosa. She was telling her all about the weird pervert in the hold and all the creepy stuff he did to women, which frankly wasn't helping Amy's appetite, but she was glad of the distraction because she certainly didn't want to cry at work. 

Amy glanced over her shoulder at Rosa, who was sat at her desk, munching her own lunch and sipping at her coffee. She wasn't meant to eat at her desk and had been warned about it several times, but nobody was the boss of Rosa Diaz. Slowly, Amy sloped off to the bathroom and disappeared into a cubicle. She was halfway through when she heard Rosa's voice on the other side of the door. "How stupid do you think I am, Santiago?" Amy stopped what she was doing and emerged sheepishly. "I wasn't - it's not what you - it-" Rosa raised an eyebrow "Fine. I was purging." 

"Sit down." Amy looked around. There was nowhere to sit other than the bathroom floor, but seeing Rosa plonk herself down encouraged her to do the same. "Why were you purging?" Amy paused, not that she'd been saying much anyway. "I didn't like the idea of having food in my stomach." "Why not?" Amy sighed "It's complicated, but when I do, I get panicky. I don't want to be fat, and the thought of having food in there and not being able to do anything about it freaks me out." Rosa noticed Amy was on the edge of a panic attack, so she left it there and pulled Amy into a hug. Hugging Rosa still felt... wrong.

When the pair got home, Rosa revealed she was choosing to stay that night. She'd let Amy get undressed and into her nightie before serving up a portion of soup, which she'd laced with cream to bump up the calorie intake. 

"I'm not eating it." Rosa sighed and pushed the bowl back to Amy "I know you're scared, but it's late, and you need to eat so we can both get some sleep." Amy fought back the tears "I don't want to be fat." "This won't make you fat. It's pureed fruit for god sake." Amy looked at the red liquid. It did smell good. "Why aren't you eating it if it's so good?" Rosa closed her eyes, trying to control the edge to her voice "Dude, you know I've eaten my noodles, which you won't eat because they're a 'bad' carb." (Air quotes included) Amy looked up at Rosa "Now eat." Amy nodded and slowly tucked in, trying to breathe through the panic. "Good girl." With that, the topic was changed, and Rosa began the dreaded small talk she hated so much

Rosa sat with Amy through the panic attack that ensued after the meal, not that Amy was happy about that. She made it very clear Rosa was public enemy #1. Rosa fought hard to stay calm and just accept it as the way things were, but it was a struggle. On one occasion, she had to leave the room to beat the crap out of the mattress. When she returned, her heart sank as she realised Amy was covered in fresh cuts. 

Eventually, Amy cried herself to sleep. Looking down at her, Rosa knew that they'd made huge strides that day. It mightn't have been dignified, but Amy had eaten something. The purging and self-harm weren't ideal by any means. They had to work out something before Amy seriously hurt herself. Rosa knew that. But she couldn't help but feel a little bit proud.

Two days later, Rosa had finished serving up when she noticed Amy wasn't sat glaring at her from the couch. "Amy! Breakfast!" There was no reply "Come on, we've got to get going if we want to get to work on time!" That normally sent Amy flying out of bed and scrambling for clothes, but today there was no reaction. Sighing, Rosa headed into Amy's room and opened the floral print curtains. Amy was still softly snoring when she turned around, so Rosa gently shook her "Dude! Wake up!" Amy groaned and opened her eyes, which was enough for Rosa.

 

"Here. Eat." Rosa pushed Amy's plate towards her. Dazed, the brunette mumbled something about calories and being fat before eating it without another word. Rosa stopped munching her own breakfast. "Amy, do you feel okay?" Amy nodded "Just don't have the energy to argue with you." Rosa frowned. "Maybe we shouldn't go into work today." Amy shook her head "I'm going to work." Rosa sighed. She couldn't really afford to take the day off, and leaving Amy alone wasn't safe. "Okay. But if you feel unwell then you tell me, and we go home, understood?" Amy nodded.

"Jake, can I have a word?" It was just after morning briefing and Rosa had grabbed Jake as Amy, and the rest of the squad walked back to their desks. "Yeah sure, what's up?" Rosa took a breath. Being worried about people was embarrassing. "Does Santiago seem out of character to you?" Jake glanced at Amy through the window "Yeah, a bit. But she says she's just tired." Rosa shook her head "I think it's more than that. I'm taking her to the doctor later, but can you do me a favour and keep an eye on her?" Jake nodded "Sure. I'll call you if she starts acting weird." He grinned to himself "More weird than normal I mean." Rosa nodded slightly "Tight."

Jake was on the go all day, meaning he didn't get much time to babysit Amy, but she seemed okay to look at, so he pushed it to the back of his mind and continued on with his day. It was only after he got back from his lunch break he noticed Amy wasn't sat with Rosa in the break room like she usually was when he panicked. "Hey Sarge, have you seen Rosa or Amy?" Terry looked up from his computer "Rosa's headed out for lunch 15 minutes ago, but I've not seen Amy." Jake nodded "Thanks!" He called over his shoulder as he ran towards the evidence room. "Okay..." Terry mumbled to himself, turning back to his work.

"Diaz." Jake had never been gladder to hear Rosa's gruff tone ever before in his life. "Rosa where's Amy?" Rosa paused "I assumed she went out with you." Jake scoffed "Why would I take Amy with me? She's on desk duty!" Rosa sighed "I'm on my way back now. Text me when you know where she is." 

"Amy?" A whining noise came from behind one of the shelves of the boxes of evidence. "Amy?" Amy was lying on the floor grinning. Jake ran to her, throwing himself down on the floor "Jake!" She slurred "What are you doing here Ames?" Amy grinned "I've always been here silly billy!" She reached out to rub Jake's hair but missed. Suddenly Jake was no longer relieved. He pulled his phone out just as it vibrated.

Rosa: You found her yet?  
Jake: yes but she's acting weird  
Rosa: Weird weird or Amy weird?  
Jake: weird weird  
Rosa: Call an ambulance. Where are you?  
Jake: k  
Jake: evidence room  
Rosa: I'll be right there

Jake slipped his hand into Amy's, reassuring her while he dialled 911.  
Operator: "911 - What's your address please?"  
Jake: We're at the 99th precinct  
Operator: As in the police building?  
Jake: Yes  
Operator: What's the nature of the emergency?  
Jake: "My friend is acting weird."  
Operator: "In what way is she acting weird?"

Jake looked at Amy who was laid on her back, slurring out random words gleefully. 

Jake: "She's slurring her words and using sentences that don't make sense."  
Operator: "OK, has your friend been drinking?"  
Jake: "No, she's at work."  
Operator: Are you confident she hasn't been drinking  
Jake: Yes, I'm sure, can you please just hurry up and send someone?  
Operator: I'm afraid there's a bit of a wait for an ambulance at the moment, sir, we'll send one when they free up but in the meantime call us back if she gets any worse.

Before Jake could retaliate the operator hung up. Jake sighed "Well that was rude, wasn't it Amy?" Amy smiled at him "Yeahhhh..." She babbled. "Jake?" It was Rosa. Thank God for that. "We're over here!" 

Rosa flung herself next to Jake, looking down at Amy "What's going on with her?" Jake shrugged "No idea. She was like this when I found her." Rosa went pale and reached in to take Amy's pulse "Have you called the ambulance?" Jake nodded. "Yeah I have, but they accused her of being drunk and then hung up." Rosa's face darkened in anger, making Amy giggle. "Stupid morons!" Jake raised his palms in an attempt to calm Rosa down "It's ok we just wait here, they said they'd send someone; eventually, it's no biggie." Rosa stared at Amy, then back at Jake "No it is a big deal. A very big deal. If this is what I think it is she needs to go to the hospital now." Jake pulled a face "So what do we do?" 

"Give me your keys, I'm going to unlock your car, then you can drive us to the hospi..." Rosa trailed off as Amy's eyes rolled back into her head and she began to convulse. Rosa pulled her top over her head and turned it into a makeshift pillow for Amy's head while Jake sat there, frozen in panic. 

"Amy?" Jake looked at Rosa "What's happening?" Rosa sighed "Calm down and start timing this on your phone." Jake nodded, fiddling with his phone and trying to get it to cooperate with him "OK it's timing" Rosa nods "Good" There's a loud squeal from Jake as Amy bites her tongue, sending blood spurting from her mouth "Ew!" Jake dramatically turns his head away, causing Rosa to roll her eyes "Call 911 again." 

"There's still a wait for an ambulance," Rosa growls and punches the wall, making a rather sizable dent. She wants to crush everything in sight, especially that dumb dispatcher. Rosa can imagine herself hunting him down using her computer, before turning up unannounced at his house. Sneaking in through the window, armed with a baseball bat. She first breaks both his knees and one arm so he can dial for an ambulance, only to be turned down. Then, she beats him to a pulp and spreads the remainings of his body in the woods for the wolves to eat. She's brought out of her daydream with a poke from Jake. Automatically, she grabs his wrist and rotates his arm so if he moves, he'll dislocate it. Jake yelps "Okay I surrender I surrender!" Rosa lets go of him "Jeez you're in such a bad mood this week." Jake whines as he rubs his shoulder "I wonder why that is?" Rosa snapped, flicking her eyes toward Amy. Rosa sighs "Sorry." Jake blinks. Did Rosa just apologise? "As soon as Santiago stops fitting, I'm going to run to your car, unlock it and recline the seat. You need to pick her up and run, okay? The quicker you get her in the car, the less likely she is to fit while you're carrying her." Jake nods numbly. Maybe he was imagining it and she didn't apologize.

Amy finally falls still. "What time is it on your phone?" Jake glances down "3.32" Rosa nodded before snatching Jake's keys"Let's go!" She jumps up and sprints towards the car. "Wait you're just going to leave me here with her?" Rosa's already too far away to hear. Jake slips his hands under Amy's body and lifts her with surprising ease, shocked at how light and bony she is. "Okay Amy, let's get you to the car." Jake began to run. He didn't want to jostle Amy, but at the same time, he remembered Rosa's warning and he sure as hell didn't want Amy to fit again while he was in her arms.

Jake charges through the bullpen, attracting everyone's attention. Gina glances up from her phone for the briefest millisecond "Someone's wasted I see." Hearing Gina causes Charles to stop working and glance up at Jake. His eyes bulge as he sees Amy unconscious in Jake's arms and stands up, frozen. "What's going on? Is Amy okay?" Terry also looks up "What's happened this time?" Jake doesn't stop for any of them. "No time to explain, I'll call you all later!" He dashes into the lift and elbows the ground floor button, leaving Gina, Terry and Charles staring at him as the doors close.

Amy was tired. Very very tired. Her whole body hurts, and Jake running was making it worse. The cool breeze of the fresh air sends shivers running down her spine."Rosa, we're here!" Jake comes to a stop and begins to lower her onto the car seat. "I've got you, Santiago." Rosa's voice cuts through the fog in Amy's mind. The older woman supports her body as she lays back against her reclined chair. It's surprisingly comfy. 

Rosa whispered reassurances to Amy as Jake slammed the door closed and ran around to the driver's seat. Fiddling with his own seatbelt, he turns around "You all buckled in Rosa?" She glares at him. "Drive, Jake!" Jake turns around "Right, sorry, dying friend." With that, the car speeds off. Sirens blaring. 

The journey to the hospital was silent aside from the sirens. Jake gripped the wheel in a potent combination of anger and fear. Rosa was sat in the back behind him, talking to Amy. Not that she was replying. Rosa's hand never left her carotid artery. She was both waiting for and dreading the moment it stopped fluttering under her fingers. All she could do was close her eyes and pray Jake got to the hospital in time.

 

Amy awakens to Jake flinging open the car door and pulling her into his arms. She wants to fight him off, but she can't summon the strength. She opens her eyes. It's blurry, but she can just about make out Rosa standing over them. Jake glances down at Amy "Someone's waking up I see." Amy grunts sleepily and rests her head on his shoulder. He shakes her gently, "No, no, no, don't go to sleep. Stay awake for me." Amy whines in protest. She's so tired.

"I think she's going, Jake." There's a hint of panic to Rosa's voice. Jake nods and begins to run, "Grab the door!" 

Rosa charges into the ER, causing the receptionist to jump to her feet and run through double doors. A few seconds later, Jake sprints through the door, Amy now unconscious in his arms. The receptionist comes through the double doors with a doctor in tow "This way." 

Jake lays Amy on the bed and jumps back, letting the doctors crowd her. Nurses try to escort he and Rosa out to the relatives' room, but the doctor stops them. "What happened?" Jake opens his mouth to try to explain the events of that morning, but Rosa cuts him off. "This is Detective Amy Santiago, Late '20s to mid-'30s, approximately 20 minutes ago she was found in a disorientated and confused state by her friend, Jake." Rosa gestured to the open-mouthed Jake with one hand "She then proceeded to have a tonic-clonic seizure that lasted 3 minutes and 32 seconds." 

Rosa stopped for a breath, taking in the doctors that were working furiously to save her friend. The constant bleeping from the machines were giving her a headache. The lead doctor was calling out orders for various bloods and tests. Nurses were scattered around, fighting for a place so they could do as they'd been asked. 

Amy just lay there, white as a sheet, perfectly still.

This is what Anorexia does. 

Rosa shook herself out of her trance, now really wasn't the time. "Amy is a known anorexic, she was in the refeeding stage for 3 days prior to this event, she is otherwise fit and well with no known regular medication or health conditions." She fell silent before turning on her heels and following a nurse out. Jake stumbled after her. He had so many questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight spoiler:
> 
>  
> 
> This is super dangerous stuff, please don't try it at home, it's always safer to call an ambulance and insist on them arriving than risk transporting a sick friend. That said, Rosa and Jake don't really get much of a choice here. This entire situation (As I'm going to reveal) was caused by something called refeeding syndrome. It's a very real and life-threatening problem, and it nearly killed me two years ago.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Rosa wait impatiently to hear if Amy's going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a short chapter. Let me know if it's a complete embarrassment, and I'll rewrite it. I've never experienced this side of things before, as I was the sick one, but it was intriguing to explore another dimension of this.

Jake's mind burned. He had to say something. Anything to break the silence. Thankfully, Rosa's antics gave him at least one topic of conversation

"Where did you learn to do that?" Rosa glared at Jake "Your partner is dying next door, and that's all you've got to say?" Jake nodded "Sorry. I'm just nervous, and I tend to chatter endlessly when I'm nervous." Rosa grunted, "You don't say."

"So what's the deal with you and Amy? I know you're living with her because you were in a nightgown when I went to drop that food off." Rosa sighed "I'm keeping an eye on her. Making sure she eats, gets enough sleep, that sort of thing." Jake nodded "Cool." There was a pause "How long have you known?" Rosa glared at him "What is this? 21 questions?" 

 

Five hours (and a lot of awkward silence) later, Jake and Rosa are still sat in the relatives' room. Their butts hurt from the metal chairs, and there is absolutely nothing to do. Jake tried playing on his phone, but it soon died, turning from a source of entertainment to a brick. He tried speaking to Rosa, but her answers were snippy and short. So, for the vast majority of the time, he played a game with himself - count the cars passing by through the window. So far he was up to 123, or was that 143? 

It is a blessed relief when the doctor comes through. "I'm Dr Peppers, I'm the lead clinician treating Amy." Jake stands up "Is she okay? When can we see her?" The doctor paused for a moment, collecting himself "Amy is in a stable, but critical condition." Jake blinked, looking over at Rosa to see if she had just heard what he had. "What does that mean?" Peppers sighed "I'm afraid I can only disclose further details to Amy's next of kin." Jake sighed frustratedly as Rosa fell very still (not that she'd been moving much in the first place.) "Would you happen to have the phone number for her spouse? We can't find it on the system." Jake sighed frustratedly. "She's not married." How did a hospital, of all places, not know this? Surely they had records and things to use?

The doctor had left to call Camilla, so Jake and Rosa were on their own. Jake was pacing the room anxiously while Rosa was sat stony-faced but pale. "Jake!" Rosa's voice cut through his thoughts "Can you not do that?" Jake took a seat "I'm sorry but I'm worried about Amy." Rosa nodded "I know. So am I." Jake lifted his head from his hands and stared at Rosa. "Wait, what?" Rosa shrugged. "I said I'm worried about Amy." Jake blinked. Had he just imagined that? "The fact they won't tell us anything isn't a good sign Jake." her voice cracked.

And just like that, it all tumbled out of Rosa's mouth. All of the fear, anger, frustration, sadness and every other emotion Rosa had been suppressing, it came apart in minutes. She told Jake of the 3am meltdowns, the fainting, the self-harm and the purging. It all just slipped out, washed away with her tears.

"I had no idea, Rosa. I'm so sorry." Jake whispered. Seeing Rosa cry was like seeing a turtle out of its shell, and he didn't really know what to do. So, instead of cracking a stupid joke that would have only made things worse, he sat there alongside Rosa in silence. "Thank you." She whispered. 

 

Peppers strode back into the room, making Jake jump to his feet "What's happening?" "Camilia and her husband will be here shortly, they can explain." The doctor softened slightly. "You both work with Amy?" Jake nodded "Yeah we do." "I'm not meant to allow you to see Amy, but I can see she means a great deal to you, so I'll let you both in on this occasion." Jake spun around and beamed at Rosa. "Rosa? Did you hear that? Rosa absentmindedly nodded but her facial expressions remained the same.

Rosa and Jake stopped outside room 3B to collect themselves. The doctor warned them of the sight that would greet them. But Jake had been in plenty of hospitals in his time and had seen countless amounts of dead bodies. It wasn't going to be worse than that. Rosa's expression hadn't changed once since she arrived, but now, she gave Jake a small smile and squeezed his shoulder. It was if she pitied him. As if only she knew the true extent of what was to come. Taking a deep breath, Rosa opened the door and allowed him to walk through.

Jake stopped dead at the sight of Amy. For a brief while, time froze altogether. He wanted to feel something, but nothing came. 

Amy was laid among the white sheets, wearing an oversized hospital gown, dull hair hanging loosely around her shoulders. She was a ghostly shade of grey, aside from her lips, which were ever so slightly tinted a blue /purple. Hanging to one side of them was a tube attached to a large machine that puffed and wheezed. 

"It's called a ventilator. It's breathing for her." Jake turned around to see Rosa stood behind him, calmly taking it all in. "That's life support isn't it?" Rosa nodded. Ah. There were the feelings. 

"Can she hear me?" Rosa shrugged ever so slightly "Some studies show people in comas can hear." Jake swallowed a lump. Coma. Amy Santiago was in a coma. "Hopefully it's just a coma and not a full stop." Ah. There was the inappropriate joke. Rosa had begun to wonder if she broke him. No fear. Jake snorted to himself, but was quickly silenced by Rosa's glare "No?" She shook her head.

Slowly, he approached his partner. "Hey, Amy." Jake reached down and slipped his hand into Amy's. "Here." Rosa dragged two chairs over "Thanks." Jake wanted to say something meaningful, but his mouth wouldn't work. So the trio sat in silence. 

Rosa was not an emotional person. Feelings were for wimps. But recently, she had found herself feeling an awful lot more than she normally did. But especially now, as she gazed at her tiny friend, unable to do anything to save her, and knowing, deep down, this was all her fault.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a week after Amy's collapse. Rosa hasn't left Amy's side (to the nurses' displeasure), and Jake is worried about her mental state. So he sets up a secret group chat between him, Charles, Gina and Terry, with the aim of discussing ways of cheering her up and teaching her how to relax again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is again based on something that happened in my own personal life. When I was sick, a dear friend refused to leave my bedside in case something happened and she wasn't there. It was really stressing her out, she was in a terrible state and not looking after herself properly. So some other friends arranged a pizza party and movie night so she could relax without worrying she was making a mistake leaving me. I don't remember it as I wasn't conscious, but I've been told it was really fun and everyone enjoyed themselves, even when they got kicked out for being too noisy!

The smell that hit Jake when he walked into room 3B was a smell he was confident could be weaponised. It was the smell of hospital combined with rotting week-old pizza and BO. It was so bad he thought about leaving, but then he spotted a black lump on the chair.

Rosa was curled up on a chair next to Amy's bed, fast asleep. Chucking to himself, he pulled out his phone and took a photo. He sent it to Terry, Charles and Gina. Caption: Look at these adorable sleeping beauties <3\. His phone instantly buzzed.   
Gina: *red heart emoji, blue heart emoji, purple heart emoji*

Jake hesitantly shook Rosa. "Come on; you need to wake up." Rosa groaned. She hated being woken up in the morning. "Touch me again and-" Jake cut her off "You'll break my hand off, I know." Rosa yawned and sat up, stretching her long, slim body out in a rather impressive display of flexibility. "You need to go home Rosa; you've been wearing the same clothes since last week." Rosa shook her head "I leave when Amy leaves." 

Rosa had been sleeping with Amy for the last week. The nurses weren't happy about it at all, and often woke her up to tell her to get out, but the minute she stood up to confront them they backed down, mumbling apologies. The chair wasn't comfortable in the least, and she was sure she'd pulled something sleeping in it, but as much as she hated admitting it, she didn't want to leave Amy. 

Rosa looked awful. Her hair was matted and frizzy. Her eyes were bloodshot and had huge sagging bags under them. Her skin was popping up with zits because she didn't wipe her makeup off the day Amy collapsed. Her clothes hadn't been changed, were covered in stains, and, if Jake was honest, smelt so bad he was confident Rosa was going to have to wash them at least ten times to get the smell out. 

Jake sighed "You're not taking care of yourself." Rosa glared at him, still half asleep. "When was the last time you ate something?" Rosa shrugged. "I had a breakfast bar last night." Jake rolled his eyes "See, that is not enough. Go home, have a shower and change your clothes, I'll stay here with Amy." Rosa looked at Amy and shook her head silently. 

Jake sighed "I might invite the squad over later, you'll want to be changed for that." Rosa paused. She didn't want anyone to know she was involved... Rosa suddenly stood up, grabbing Jake's shirt and pulling him in, so he was inches away from her face. "You don't tell anyone I slept here, understood?" Jake was trying not to gag at the smell of Rosa's breath but managed to nod. Releasing him, Rosa turned back to look at Amy one last time "Anything changes, text me." Jake held up his car keys "Take my car." 

Now that Rosa was gone, He dragged the chair Rosa had slept on out into the hallway because it stunk to high heaven and he was pretty sure the hospital was going to have to burn it. Upon returning into the room, he opened the window before slumping into his chair

 

Rosa stepped into her shower and let the water trickle down her body. It felt good to get out of those old clothes finally. She lathered her body in her favourite coconut body wash, letting it sit for a few seconds before washing it all off. Next was her hair. It took a few seconds of gently coaxing the mats out with a brush before it lay tangle free against her neck. Rosa followed up with coconut shampoo and conditioner and then wrapped her hair in a towel, enjoying the smell of coconut that had filled her bathroom.

 

Jake, thankful the smell was finally dissipating, was sat on his phone, pining the photo of Rosa sleeping in the chair to the chat. 

Jake: U all free 2 call in a min?  
Gina: Yh  
Charles: Yes!   
Charles: We haven't talked in ages  
Charles: Counting down the seconds  
Gina: CHARLES!  
Charles: Sorry  
Charles: I'll shut up now  
Charles: Apart from when you call Jake  
Gina: SHUT TF UP!  
Charles: Sorry my bad!  
Gina: *Shushing emoji*  
Terry: Can do, let me just go outside. Don't want the girls overhearing the convo.   
Jake: Calling now.

Rosa sat in front of her mirror, curling her dark hair. She forgot how soft it was when she washed it. Her gold necklace of Saint Christopher lay beside her, ready to be clipped around her neck as soon as she was done. Her parents had given it to her years ago when she first started working as a cop to with the hope it would keep her safe on her travels. Having it on her reminded Rosa of how far she had come since then. 

Jake slipped his hand into Amy's as he stopped texting and lifted his phone to his ear with his free hand.   
Jake: We all here?  
Terry: Yep  
Gina: Uh huh  
Charles: Jake! It's so good to hear your voice!  
Jake: It's good to hear from you as well bud, although it has only been 13 hours since you last saw me  
Charles: It feels like forever - I've missed yo-  
Gina: Charles shut up  
Jake: Rosa can't know about this chat, okay?   
Gina: Jake I have better things to do than talk to you so why don't we get down to it?  
Jake: Does anyone have any ideas on how to cheer Rosa up?  
Charles: I could cook her something?  
Jake: Your cooking is downright weird. I'm pretty sure Rosa doesn't want to eat sheep brain  
Charles: What if I cooked something a little less adventurous? Like Mac'n cheese?  
Jake: Does it include any weird ingredients?   
Charles: No  
Jake: Perfect, do that then. Can you have it ready for this evening? We can all eat it together at my place for a movie night.  
All: No die hard, Jake  
Jake: Fine. We'll vote tonight  
Charles: What if Rosa won't leave Amy's side? She's sweet like that you know.  
Terry: We could bring movie night to the hospital?  
Jake: There's no tv in Amy's room  
Terry: Then we turn it into a games night.

It was agreed. That night, they were going to have a game night.

 

Rosa stood in front of her full-length mirror, gazing at the girl that stared straight back at her. Her makeup had been carefully applied to hide the flaws that gave her lack of sleep away, but she still felt incomplete somehow. She walked over to her cabinet and picked up a bottle of cheap whisky. Opening it, she swirled it around her mouth before spitting it out in the sink. That was better. 

Jake was still on the phone to the squad when he got a text from Rosa saying she was leaving the house.   
Jake: Rosa's just texted, she'll be here soon, where are you guys?   
Charles: I'm just outside the hospital now - I can't wait to see you an-  
Gina: Charles shut up.  
Terry: Sharon is just in the door now. I'll be there in 15.   
Jake: Cool  
Terry: *hangs up*  
Jake: Where are you, Gina  
Gina: I am everywhere. Like God.  
Jake: Okay... 

Jake hangs up just as Charles nervously knocks on Amy's door. Jake gestures for him to enter, and he does so, holding a pot covered in tin foil, not taking his eyes off Amy. "Hey, Jake." Jake smiles at him "You can relax, it's okay." Charles appears no more comfortable, but places his pot on a nearby desk and awkwardly shuffles towards Jake to hug him. "She okay?" Jake squeezes him tighter "She will be." Pulling away, Charles seems more himself "How are you? Have you eaten your dinner?" Jake scoffs "Yes, I have." Charles narrows his eyes "Was it a chocolate bar and a blue drink?" Jake nods sheepishly as Charles sighs frustratedly "Unacceptable." 

Terry is the next one to arrive. He is armed with a vast array of games "Thought I'd bring a few so we can choose." Setting them down next to the macaroni, he turns to Amy. "How she doing?" Jake turns around to glance at Amy "She's doing okay. Stable but critical. Just waiting for her to wake up." Terry nodded. "Good." 

Jake felt alive now his friends were here. It didn't make the situation any less sad, but it did make it happier and more comfortable for him. He could only hope that it was going to do the same for Rosa. 

Gina turned up armed with a small crate of beer. "Let's get this party started!" Gina grinned, handing out the drinks. Terry's eyes bulged "Gina! This is a hospital!" Gina shrugged "So what?" She threw herself on a chair in the corner and pulled out her phone, sluping her beer intermitently. 

Everyone was enjoying a game of monopoly when Rosa finally turned up. "What's going on?" She asked, slightly bewildered. Jake grinned, handing Rosa a beer before explaining. "Game night. Boyle figured you wouldn't want to leave Amy, so we decided to have a game night here." Rosa smiled sighly at Charles "Thanks." 

At first, it felt weird having what was essentially a mini party around a dying friends bedside, but after a while, Rosa relaxed. She wasn't drinking (unbeknownst to the group), but It felt good to hang alongside Gina, watching the others play monopoly. Things got even better when Charles served up his mac n' cheese, which wasn't just edible, it was the most incredible thing Rosa had ever tasted. When the monopoly was finished (or rather when Jake got bored of playing), they played truth or dare. It turns out everyone but her knew Terry studied in Japan. She really ought to pay more attention to people.

Just when Gina was about to reveal her secret crush, a nurse burst into the room. "Excuse me; this is a hospital, not a night club!" Everyone groaned as they were escorted out of Amy's room, all apart from Rosa, who sat on her chair angrily glaring at the nurse. "You too." The nurse snapped at Rosa "No." The nurse sighed "Do I have to call security?" Gina popped her head around the door, for once not looking at her phone "Its okay doc, I got this." 

 

Seeing Gina strut towards her, Rosa stood up. She didn't want Gina thinking she cared about anyone, especially not someone as dull as Amy. "Fine. I'll go." Gina grinned to herself as Rosa stormed out past her, causing a fresh coconut and whisky breeze to hit her full in the face. Licking her lips, she pressed her beer bottle into the nurse's chest before taking off after Rosa. "You're welcome!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a sick friend, it sucks the life out of you, and you often miss out on your own life, which can make you and the people around you miserable. It's really important (As Rosa is slowly learning) to relax and have time to muck around. It's also important to have a network of people around you to support you as you support your friend. Otherwise, things tend to go to pot. 
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter I wrote specifically for all those who are caring for a sick loved one at the moment <3 
> 
> Let me know if there's any way I can improve.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa doesn't have a car to get home, so Gina offers to take her back to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am awful at writing smut, however, I love Dianetti, and it just goes to show how worried Rosa is over Amy. She's trying to be 'selfish' and have fun, but she struggles to think of anything else. I have a feeling Gina is going to be a pivotal point in Rosa learning to turn 'off' and put herself first when she needs to.

Rosa realised when she got outside she didn't have a car. She could go back inside and take on the nurse, but she knew it would only end up in a physical altercation with security. She could get the night bus, but that meant a long walk from the bus stop to her house. Rosa googled a taxi company; she was just about to call the first one listed when she heard Gina. "Rosa!" Gina finally caught up. "Fancy coming back to mine?" Rosa paused. Gina lived quite far away from the hospital, and if anything were to happen with Amy, she would be dependent on a 15-minute taxi ride before she got to the hospital. Although her apartment wasn't much closer, and Gina's presence might help keep her mind off Amy. "Sure. Have you called a taxi?" Gina waved her phone in the air "Uber." 

The ladies found themselves sat on a bench by the taxi rank in the hospital car park, waiting for the Uber to show up. "It should have arrived by now." Rosa moaned, her voice strained from being in the cold for so long. Gina stopped Instagramming to check the app. "It says here he's 2 minutes away." "Didn't it say that five minutes ago?" Rosa asked, rubbing her hands together. "Probably." Gina glanced up from her phone briefly, noting the shivering woman sat next to her, before glancing back down at her phone. "Take my coat if you're that cold." Rosa turned around and stared at Gina. "No. Then you'll freeze." This made Gina grin "Rosa Diaz you are such a gentleman." Rosa rolled her eyes and grunted. "Whatever." 

 

When the Uber finally arrived, 15 minutes late, Gina was sure to let the driver know about her displeasure. Rosa tuned out. Gina's arguments can go on for days. She stood with her back to the car door, looking up at the hospital above them. "Rosa!" Gina was grinning broadly "20% discount." Rosa blinked, still a little dazed "Cool." Driver thoroughly chewed out; both ladies jumped into the back. 

Rosa stared out the window, secretly wondering if leaving Amy alone for the night was a mistake. What if she woke up and nobody was there to see it? What if something went wrong and nobody noticed? What if she died? 

Rosa was too wrapped up in her thoughts to see that Gina's gaze had been diverted from her phone. 

By the time the car pulled up outside the apartment, Gina had a cunning plan. She let Rosa get out first and, making sure she was still daydreaming, Gina, waved her ass in front of the Uber drivers face as she got out Rosa's side. As he turned to stare, Gina fake sneezed, bringing Rosa crashing to earth. 

The two ladies strode into the apartment building, leaving the uber driver to nurse his bleeding nose. "I can't believe he did that to you." To Gina's delight, Rosa was still pretty wound up. "Some men just can't handle this." Gina proudly gestured to her body with one hand. Rosa's mind drifted off to Amy again. She would have insisted on writing a formal letter of complaint to head office...

"Here we are. Home sweet home." Gina announced proudly, flicking on the lights. "Cool place," Rosa glanced around the apartment briefly. "Sit down, I'll get the drinks, and we can get this party started." Rosa threw herself onto the couch "Sounds good." 

Five shots later, the ladies were sat on the couch with their feet up. Rosa was keenly listening to Gina ramble on about Beyonce. Gina had been testing how long Rosa would keep listening, and so far she hadn't given up. "But anyway, I doubt you want to hear any more." There was a pause. Rosa didn't protest but didn't agree with her either. Taking a deep breath, Gina took the plunge. 

"Why are you still listening?" Rosa paused, her mind drifting to poor Amy alone in her hospital bed, slowly wasting away. Fuck Amy. She was unconscious. She wasn't going to care if she was there or not. Now was her time to have fun and relax. "I like talking with you." Gina smiled to herself.

"Tell me something I don't know about you." Gina gazed into Rosa's eyes, carefully assessing her expression. Rosa shoved the last thoughts of Amy out of her mind and forced herself to make eye contact. "I like you. Like really like you." 

There was an awful moment of silence as Gina puzzled over how to react that wasn't overly eager. Rosa sat up, sliding her legs off the sofa "I'm so sorry if that makes you feel awkward, I can go if you want?" Gina smirked at the normally confident woman's sudden vulnerability. "Now, why would you do that?" Gina whispered as she shuffled closer and kissed Rosa. 

Rosa reached forward in an attempt to pull Gina closer, but the redhead pushed her away and broke the kiss. "Eager are we?" she teased. "Shut up and kiss me." Gina lifted her lips out of reach and pressed her weight into Rosa's shoulders, making it clear what she wanted. It's not Rosa's usual preference, but she needed Gina to continue, so she let herself be pushed into the cushions. 

Gina was a phenomenal kisser, but she wasn't one for loitering around, so after a few minutes of kissing passionately on the sofa, Rosa felt her top being slid up as Gina nibbled on her collarbone. Not wearing a bra had been a good choice.

Amy. Rosa refocused her mind on Gina, on what her warm body felt like pressed up against hers. On what her mouth felt like as it teased her left breast. On what her hands felt like as they fumbled with Rosa's belt. Amy. Rosa shook her head slightly. She had waited eight years for this moment. She was going to enjoy it. Rosa's belt finally came undone, and Gina was tugging at her pants. Rosa needed this. Amy. No. Amy was not going to ruin this for her. She might be alone in a hospital fighting for her life, but that didn't mean Rosa had to pass up her life as well.

Fuck.

"Gina, you're going to have to stop." Rosa hated herself as soon as the words tumbled out of her mouth. Gina immediately stopped and looked up from Rosa's tit. "You okay?" Rosa shook her head, fighting tears back. Gina pushed herself off Rosa and helped her pull up her pants and do up her belt. 

Once Rosa was decent, Gina asked her what happened. Rosa nibbled her lip anxiously, not wanting to admit she was so worried about her friend she passed up sex, but at the same time, she didn't want Gina to take it personally. 

"I couldn't stop thinking about Amy." Gina softened as tears began to roll down Rosa's cheeks. "I really wanted to, but I just felt awful, having sex when she's lying alone in a hospital bed." "It's okay; I understand hun. Want me to take you back to the hospital?" Rosa nodded, wiping the tears from her face furiously. 

Gina stood up "I'm going to make us a little bag for the hospital. There's no way I'm not having a change of clothes." Rosa scoffed, but not in a judgemental way. "Go grab some toiletries and pick a few outfits out from my wardrobe while I call an Uber and book us a hotel." Rosa raised her eyebrow "What? If you thought I was sleeping on the hospital floor, you've got something else coming." Rosa shook her head "No I was just surprised you trust me with your wardrobe." Gina smirked, "Bitch, you know I'm beyond packing bags myself." Rosa rolled her eyes and headed to Gina's bedroom.

Rosa emerged from the bedroom armed with a small suitcase "That's all we're taking?" Rosa shrugged "We're only going for a night or two, and we can always come back if we need more." Gina shook her head "Oh Ro-Ro, you poor, misguided soul."

Thankfully this time the uber driver was on time. Gina went out to get in the car, leaving Rosa to carry the repacked heavy bag by herself. Once it was safely in the boot, Rosa lept into the car, grinning. "Leave me to do all the hard work, Linetti?" Gina simpered "Of course, no point in having you around otherwise." 

The hospital wouldn't let them in as it was 3 am, so Gina checked them into a nearby hotel. "You lucky devil Diaz, you get to share a room with me," Gina announced, waving her keycard in the air. Rosa scoffed "Don't flatter yourself." But she was grinning.

Half an hour later, both ladies were curled up next to each other in bed. "We need to decide what this is." Rosa opened her eyes "Hmm?" "Is it just sex or are we dating?" Gina sat up. Rosa paused, trying to work out the logistics of it all. She, of course, wanted to date Gina, but she didn't know how Amy would be when she woke up. "Can we see how the Amy situation pans out?" Gina nodded "I've waited eight years, what's another couple of months?" Rosa smiled "Thanks." There was a pause before Gina spoke: "Fancy having some fun to take your mind off it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It sounds awful, but when you're caring for someone full time, you do need an outlet. Rosa isn't into talking about her feelings and struggles to express herself, but one thing she is good at is casual sex. For her, it might just be the way out of this awful trap, even if it's hard at first.
> 
> Please let me know if it's a complete embarrassment so I can go hang my head in shame. Tips/ advice / guidance always appreciated


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa and Gina pay a visit to Amy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter, but I wanted it to be a chapter in its own right for reasons you'll come to understand.

Sunlight streamed in through the window, causing Rosa's honey-toned skin to glow. Gina was laid on her side, watching the light dance over Rosa's face. She was so beautiful. Not as beautiful as Gina, obviously, but she was up there.

Gina slid her arm over Rosa's toned stomach, using her hip as an anchor to pull herself up, she leaned in and dotted Rosa's lips, cheek and neck with sweet, gentle kisses. As Rosa began to stir, Gina started getting firmer, using a little tooth. "Morning," Rosa mumbled. Gina grinned. Rosa Diaz does not say morning to people when she wakes up. She threatens to kill them. Yet, here she is, wishing her a good day. 

Once Rosa realised the time, she was quick to throw on yesterday's clothes and drag a brush through her hair. Grabbing her key card she turned to Gina "You coming?" Gina ignored her "You're going out in that? Seriously?" Rosa crossed her arms "Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, Linetti?" Gina pulled back the covers and stood up, wearing only a bra and tiny panties. Rosa's mouth suddenly went dry. "I'm not being seen in public with you if that's what you're wearing." Gina pointed to a nearby stool at the dressing table "Sit." 

Rosa Diaz didn't follow orders from people. So how she found herself sitting patiently as Gina curled her hair, she didn't know. "You can thank me later." Gina turned off the curlers and spun around, strutting to the wardrobe. Gina picked out a long-sleeved black top and leather pants. "Here. Put these on." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Have you robbed me or something?" Gina shook her head "No, these are mine. Don't ask." Rosa scoffed but did as she was asked and put them on. "There, see what a clean outfit and a nice hairdo does?" Rosa rolled her eyes. "You coming with me or staying here?" Gina smirked, placing her hands on Rosa's shoulders "I will do you the honour of accompanying you to that filthy hospital if you do me a favour when we get back." Rosa stood up, pulling Gina closer as she bit her lip "Oh yeah? What would that be?" 

 

Amy. Rosa thought she'd be pleased to finally be allowed through the hospital doors, but her stomach was churning. She briskly walked down the long hospital corridors, Gina loosely following on behind, eyes glued to her phone. What if something had gone wrong during the night? Rosa stopped outside room 3B, pausing to catch her breath, before opening the door and breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the tiny brunette that lay unconscious amongst the sheets of the bed.

"Hey, Amy, it's Rosa. Gina's with me too; she wanted to say hi." Rosa whispered as she pulled up a chair. "'sup girl?" Gina didn't look up from her phone. "Gina, your coworker is in a coma, put that thing away and show some respect." Rosa hissed. Gina looked up from her phone for the briefest of milliseconds before turning back to it again "You look awful - when was the last time you washed?" Rosa rolled her eyes "She's in a coma, Gina. "Really? I didn't notice." Rosa stood up, towering over Gina in one swift movement "Don't get smart with me, Linetti." 

Noises. Amy could hear noises. They were hurting her head. She tried to groan, but no sound came out. There was something in her mouth stopping her. It tasted of bleach. Something was tickling her. She tried to inhale so she could talk, but ended up coughing. It was in her throat. She couldn't breathe.

"Wait, shut up." Rosa froze, staring at Amy. Gina lifted her head from her phone and followed Rosa's gaze. "Amy?" Rosa reached down and gently tickled Amy's cold hand. "Amy, can you feel me?" There was a horrible pause. Rosa waited, praying to whoever the fuck was up there that Amy could feel her. 

Halleluiah, Amy coughed. "Gina get the doctor." Gina dashed out of the room, yelling rather melodramatically "I need a doctor!" Rosa grinned to herself, wiping away tears with her free hand as Amy coughed and spluttered for air. "You're okay Santiago, we've got you." 

Rosa knew this wasn't the end for Amy. Watching her squirm and gasp for air wasn't pleasant, but it was a good sign. That said, she knew that just because Amy was waking up, it didn't necessarily mean things were going to go back to the way they were. She could have brain damage for one. She'd need to build up her muscle again (not that she had much, to begin with) after spending nine days without moving. Another issue, of course, was making her eat and gain weight. For Rosa, Amy's future was far too uncertain for her liking.

But at least she had a fighting chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is actually very loosely based on my wake up. I don't remember it, but a friend was there when it happened, and it scared the living shit out of her XD Generally people in comas wake up quite gradually, but I thought for illustrative purposes it would be good to do quite a sudden wake-up. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, I'm sorry it's so short, but next chapter is longer <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gina decides to throw another party in celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not confident to write Dianetti smut yet, but Gina remains with Rosa throughout. It's kind of adorable. Rosa is overprotective over Amy. 'nuff said

Jake Peralta groaned as he rolled over to reach for his ringing phone by his bedside. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he glanced at the screen. It was Rosa. He debated not answering it and going back to sleep, but he knew it could be to do with Amy. "You do know it's my day off don't you Diaz?" Rosa was sniffing on the other line. "Shut up and listen to me." Jake sat up properly, suddenly awake "What's going on? Is Amy okay?" Rosa let out a sob "She's more than okay Jake." There was a moment of pause while Rosa tried to get her mouth to formulate words that made sense. "She's awake."

 

A cold breeze tickled Amy's skin, pulling her from her slumber. "Amy?" It sounded like... Rosa. Amy whined. Her throat was dry and sore. She opened her eyes to find Rosa sat by her bedside. "How are you feeling Santiago?" Amy groaned "Tired." There was a pause. "What am I doing here?" Rosa raised an eyebrow "You don't remember?" Amy shook her head, which, it turns out, was a mistake. She swallows a yelp as Rosa explains "Jake found you in the evidence room, you then had a seizure, he called an ambulance but they were all tied up, so we took you to the hospital ourselves." Amy blinked "Why don't I remember it?" Rosa sighed "You've been in a coma for nine days."

"What?" Amy scoffs, even though it hurts to laugh "No, I can't have been. You've miscounted the dates or something." Gina appeared in the corner, making Amy jump "Where did you just come from?" Gina smirks "I was always here. I'm like God. I'm everywhere." Gina puts down her phone, so she can look Amy in the eye "Anyway, she should know kiddo, she slept here with you for most of it." Amy looked at Rosa, then back at Gina. "What?"

Jake ran down the corridor at full speed, nearly sending a nurse flying. He doesn't stop to apologise. Once he reaches room 3B, he takes a brief second to collect himself before bursting in.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" Jake was stood at the base of Amy's bed, panting "Did you run here?" Rosa scoffed. Jake nodded "Amy..." his voice trailed off as he began to cry. "Are you crying, Peralta?" Amy sat up, bemused at her partner's antics. He worked his mouth for a moment, trying to find the right words, but failed. Instead, he pulled her into a hug.

"We have got to tell the squad about this," Jake whispered as he released Amy. Gina glanced up from her phone "You mean you've not told them yet?" Jake shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve "No, didn't get time. I nearly flattened a nurse running in the corridor." Rosa snorted. "Wait, the squad? How many people know about me being in hospital?" Rosa squeezed Amy's hand "Your parents, the entire squad, probably the vast majority of the precient." Amy froze "Oh God." Rosa rolled her eyes "Only Jake, Holt, and I know why you're in here." The sigh of relief that was emitted from Amy's mouth was so long Rosa was convinced she was going to pass out again.

"Wait what? I thought you were in here because you went bat shit in the evidence room." Gina had put her phone down long enough to stare at the trio. "It is," Rosa said simply. "Rosa, it's okay, you can tell her. I don't mind." "Sure?" Amy nodded "I think she deserves to know." Gina stared at Amy "You think, bitch? Of course I deserve to know!" 

"I have anorexia." Gina glanced down at her phone "'Kay girl." Rosa punched Gina "That all you are going to say?" Gina paused, not looking up. "What do you want me to do? Get a calorie-free cupcake and stick a candle in it?" Rosa rolled her eyes. "I'm so sorry Amy." But Amy was chuckling "It's okay, the reason I let you tell her is because I knew she wouldn't change." Gina snorted "Damn right bitch! Now, text the squad and tell them to get their asses over here - I fancy pizza!"  
.

Jake put his phone back in his pocket "Sent!" Rosa glanced over at Gina "Gina, and I are staying at a nearby hotel, we can pick up some drinks and the pizza on our way over." Jake couldn't restrain himself "So that's how it is!" Rosa glared at him "Shut up. I was worried about Amy, so Gina booked me into a hotel, they only had twins left, so she decided to keep me company." "I'm sure she did... OW!" Jake rubbed his shoulder, backing away from the crazy woman who just punched him. Amy grinned "Awwww... you care about me." Rosa spun around "Do you want one as well Santiago?" but she was grinning. 

"Alright, I'm going to head back, keep me posted." Jake picked up his car keys "I'm talking about the food, not whatever you and Gina are doing." Rosa stood up "Okay, I'm going, please don't hurt me." Amy giggled as Jake disappeared. "You need to get your sleep, so Gina and I are going to go, but if you need anything, call me." Rosa placed her phone on Amy's bedside table. "Thanks, Rosa." Rosa stood up, turned off the lights and left without another word. Gina shuffled awkwardly to the door "M'kay, byeee." 

Having found their room, Rosa paused before unlocking the door. "Do you think I'm making a mistake leaving Amy behind?" Gina shrugged her shoulders slightly, not looking up from her phone. "I mean the doctors can look after her, right?" There was no response from Gina. "Was my phone changed enough do you think?" Gina sighed "Girl, I don't know, but can you just shut up about Amy? I don't care." Rosa swiftly snatched Gina's phone off her. "Hey!" Rosa held it out of her way easily "I won't talk about Amy if you put your phone away." Gina stopped reaching for it and paused before agreeing "Fine, but we leave it on charge in sight." Rosa nodded, holding the door open for Gina. 

Distractions away, Gina kissed Rosa, pushing her backwards until the backs of her knees were touching the bed. With a swift shove, Rosa fell back onto the mattress, pulling Gina on top of her. "I believe you owe me a favour," Gina whispered between kisses. Rosa was panting slightly, so it took her a second to respond "Oh yeah? What was it?" Gina broke the kiss. "Wait here." 

As much as she wanted to haul Rosa straight into the shower, Gina decided that getting undressed while trying to make out and figure out an unfamiliar shower wouldn't work well. So she left Rosa laying on the bed, simpering in anticipation, and disappeared into the bathroom. 

The shower was one of those awkward ones over a bath. Gina turned on the water and adjusted it, so it was nice and warm, layered the floor of the tub with anti-slip mats before hanging a few extra large fluffy white towels on the rack. Confident with her setup, she called Rosa through.

Rosa emerged from the bathroom wet (in more ways than one), flushed and smelling of Gina's body wash. Gina wasn't far behind her. "Did you enjoy that?" Rosa shrugged slightly "Wasn't awful." Gina grinned, shoving Rosa onto the bed and climbing on top of her "Oh?" Rosa adverted her gaze, not wanting to admit how much she had enjoyed it. "Because judging by some of the sounds you made, you loved it." Rosa shrugged as best as she could with Gina on her "Shall we go ask the people next door?" Rosa rolled her eyes "Fine. I enjoyed it." Gina raised an eyebrow "A lot." Gina dug her nails into Rosa's shoulder "And..." Rosa sighed "I can't wait to do it again." Gina smirked before climbing off Rosa. "We'll see."

"Close the window Gina; it's pretty cool in here." Amy sucked in a breath of crisp air and opened her eyes. "Hey, guys." Rosa spun around "Did you have a good nap, Santiago?" Amy nodded "Mmm-hmm" Rosa smiled a little "Good." Amy stretched her arms out, noting the pizza boxes in Rosa's arms "When is everyone getting here?" Gina snorted "15 minutes. Rule #1 of being a good host - always know when your guests are turning up." Amy's mouth flew open "Excuse me! Sick friend!" "Needy coworker more like," Gina muttered. Rosa punched her, making Amy giggle.

Rosa helped Amy dry shampoo her hair and changed her gown so Amy could feel a little more human before the squad turned up. The guests arrived as a group, armed with gifts and well wishes. Amy neatly unboxed each gift, thanking the giver and hugging them. A red silk nightgown (and a lot of inappropriate jokes) from Jake. Toiletries from Terry. Chocolate and assorted fruit from Charles.

Even though she wasn't allowed to eat yet, Amy enjoyed sitting amongst her friends as they ate pizza and shared jokes. It was as if Amy wasn't in the hospital anymore. It was just her and her friends hanging out and eating pizza.

And for Amy, that made the world of difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: If you're ever unlucky enough to have a friend who falls into a coma, don't throw a party on the day they wake up. They feel like shit and just want to sleep. That said, this is a story so what the hell.
> 
> It's the last chapter with Amy in hospital <333333333333333333333


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy is finally discharged from the hospital, and Rosa learns she can't do this alone the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter yet again, but it's an important one.

TW: CALORIES, NUMBERS, PURGING, ECT

Gina awoke suddenly. She was cold. "Diaz get your ass over here," she mumbled through closed eyes. Nothing. "Diaz!" Gina reached over, expecting her hand to land on Rosa's silky warm skin, but her arm fell through the air and landed on the mattress with an audible thump. Forcing her eyelids open, Gina sat up and scanned her bedroom for her companion. She wasn't there. Sighing, Gina got out of bed "I swear to God Diaz, if this is some prank, I will kill you." Rosa was nowhere to be found.

Of course. It was discharge day. 

Rosa hadn't seen Amy in three weeks and had been waiting on this day for months. She didn't even know if Amy would ever make it. Amy made good progress under the watchful eye of her therapist, gaining two stone, and now it was time for her to return home. Rosa had worked with multiple experts while Amy was in the hospital, and now she felt confident both she and Amy could work towards recovery, however long that was going to take or however hard it was. 

Amy stared at her naked body in the mirror, pinching all the bits she didn't like. The lack of a thigh gap. The little roll of fat under her arm. Her invisible ribs. The slowly vanishing collarbone. It made her feel... disgusting. Fat. Ugly. She needed to lose all of it. Now she was finally getting out; she could do as she pleased. She just had to be smart about it.

Amy sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled open her bedside drawer, picking up her notepad and pen. She flicked past all of the crappy self-love pages her therapist made her do to the 43rd page of the notebook, where she'd written down all her rules. Rules had always been her life, but now they were more important than ever.

1\. Eat all the food Rosa gives to me without question  
2\. Try not to cry after meals, but if I can't stop myself, tell Rosa I'm emotional but okay. NO CUTTING  
3\. When Rosa isn't looking / distracted / induce vomiting if at all possible. If that isn't possible, take my carb blockers, then do enough exercise to burn off the calories ingested  
4\. Offer to cook after a while. This ensures I can control the contents of that meal  
5\. If, for whatever reason Rosa isn't babysitting me, fast & exercise - aim for 3500 cal deficit  
6\. If, for whatever reason, an opportunity arises where I can exercise without raising suspicion IE working, walking the neighbours' dog ect, then do so. But don't raise suspicion. If in doubt, don't do it.  
7\. As Rosa begins to trust me, wait until she's looking before taking a big bite of food. Spit it out the window / into the trash if possible, if not swallow whole to reduce the number of calories ingested and do rule 3  
8\. When Rosa backs off, partake in social activities and make sure she occasionally sees me 'eating' in the break room / offer to take her out to lunch etc

Amy smiled to herself. With these rules, she couldn't go wrong. 

 

Jake woke up to a text from Gina. He was expecting it, but he still wasn't happy to receive it. Rosa was a stubborn old thing, and he wasn't looking forward to arguing with her.  
Gina: Rosa is gone  
Jake: fuck  
Jake: did she say where or????  
Gina: no, but itz discharge day, so I'm guessing 2da hospital  
Jake: k I'll go now, want me to pick u up? want  
Gina: yh

Reluctantly, Jake pulls on pants and a tee shirt before grabbing his keys and heading out the door. 

Rosa paced just outside the hospital cafe, where she agreed to meet Amy. She's nervous but excited. It brought her back to her first day as a detective. Amy was finally coming home, and they were going to work on getting her life back on track together. "Rosa!" Rosa glances up to see Amy jogging towards her, suitcase in tow. There's only a split second before Amy reaches her and flings her arms around Rosa's neck. Rosa tenses for a second before relaxing and hugging Amy back, noting how her bones aren't digging into her anymore. "You look incredible Santiago." Amy blushes as she pulls away "Thank you!" 

"You ready to go home?" Amy nodded, grinning "Yep! I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed the time off, but I am so ready to get back to my old life." Rosa picks up Amy's suitcase automatically and the two head back to the car in silence, but beaming. It was just their way. 

The fact Rosa didn't try to force herself to make small talk was a good sign, Amy decided. This could be an awful lot easier than she expected. 

Rosa was suddenly scared. Amy looked incredible. Her hair was glossy and sleek. Her skin had rejuvenated itself and was back to glowing a warm honey tone. Her body was no longer out of proportion, and she had begun to build muscle. What if she slipped back into old habits while she was with Rosa? What if Rosa couldn't make her keep eating? Maybe they were leaving the hospital too early...

"Jake?" Amy's surprise snapped Rosa out of her thoughts. Jake was stood by the main exit, grinning. Rosa glared at him. What was he doing here? Amy ran to Jake "I've missed you so much!" the pair embraced and Jake closed his eyes, inhaling Amy's sweet scent once more. Stepping back, he held her out so he could admire her.

"Gina's with me too; she's in the car because there's terrible reception in the hospital." The trio were all heading back to Jake's car. Jake and Amy walked side by side, giggling and sharing funny stories while Rosa hung back, glaring at the back of Jake's stupid head. 

Jake swung his passenger side car door open "After you, m'lady." Amy grinned "Why thank you, kind sir." Taking her seat, he closed the door. "Jake, can I speak with you for a sec?" Jake nodded and headed over to Rosa, who was slinging the suitcase into his boot. "What are you doing here?" Jake sighed "Remember the day when Amy collapsed, and you got all emotional?" Rosa looked away "I thought we agreed to never talk about that." Jake ignored her "I thought we could all help out, so you don't get overwhelmed." Rosa looked up from the floor and glared at Jake "You think I can't handle this?" Jake shook his head "No, I just thought you and Gina would want some..." He wiggled his eyebrows "Alone time." Rosa rolled her eyes before throwing Jake up against his car "What happens between Gina and me is a private matter, got it?" Jake just giggled "Oooo... someone didn't get any last night!" 

The drive to Amy's was an awkward one. Amy had heard the thump of Jake's body colliding with the car and filled in the gaps herself. On the upside, if Jake and Rosa were arguing they would hopefully get too wrapped up in it to notice what she was getting up to.

"Here we are," Jake pulled up outside Amy's apartment and turned to face Gina and Rosa in the back "You two getting out here?" Rosa turned to Gina as if to ask permission. She didn't even look up from her phone to respond. "Don't look at me; I ain't going in there. I always feel like I'm visiting my grandma." Rosa turned back to Jake and nodded "Yeah, I'm getting out." There was a brief pause "If that's okay with you Amy?" Amy nodded "Sure!" Jake grinned awkwardly "Well then it's sorted. Gina, you're staying with me, and I'll drop you back at yours, Rosa and Amy you get out, and I'll see you both Monday." Rosa nodded "Perfect." There was another pause before Amy undid her belt "I think we should get in.." Rosa's voice overlapped Amy's with statements of agreement. 

 

"What's going on with you and Jake?" Rosa unlocked Amy's door and opened it to let her in "We're just having a disagreement on a case we've been working together." Amy raised an eyebrow "Cool." Amy walked through the door and set her keys down "Pleased to be home finally?" Amy nodded "Home sweet home." Rosa headed to the fridge "I went shopping yesterday, so we'd have plenty in." Amy tried to smile "Oh you didn't have to." She really didn't have to. The last time Amy's fridge was this full was thanksgiving 2006. 

"Fancy some lunch?" Amy nodded "What's on the menu, chef?" Rosa began to pull a large packet of chicken out of the fridge. "Thought I could do chicken in mushroom sauce?" Amy watched intently as Rosa pulled various ingredients out of the fridge. "Sounds good." She debated asking where Rosa got the recipe but decided it would raise too much suspicion. Instead, she settled with watching and adding the calories up in her head. Amy popped a DVD in, before slumping on her sofa and pretending to watch the movie. 

Rosa glanced over her shoulder as she added diced chicken into the sauce. After Amy's collapse, she had taught herself how to correctly measure each ingredient, so it was a nice balanced meal, although as Amy had been reliably eating for a while now, it was very unusual for refeeding syndrome to kick back in again. With that in mind, she slipped in some extra creme fraiche and continued to stir. 

Amy was so glad she attended that seminar on mental arithmetic. It was kind of hard to keep all the numbers in her head without forgetting any, but she was giving it her best shot. So far, this is what she had counted  
\- 4 x chicken breasts, with the skin on - roughly 750 calories  
\- Half a pack of tarragon leaves - roughly 90 calories  
\- a pack of mushrooms - roughly 60 calories, depending on the type  
\- One onion - roughly 40 calories  
\- A tablespoon of oil - likely olive - roughly 120 calories  
\- Roughly half a pot of creme fraiche - roughly 300 calories  
\- A tablespoon of butter - roughly 100 calories  
\- Two chicken stock cube - roughly 40 calories  
\- A packet of green beans - roughly 70 calories

According to Amy's brain, that was approximately 1570 calories. "Smelling good Rosa!" Rosa smiled "Thank you, hopefully, we'll have enough for dinner as well." Bingpot. That's four servings, take away the two Rosa will have, which was... 785 calories. Half of that is roughly 393 calories, which meant based on her current weight of 100 pounds she would have to run 5 miles to burn it all off. That could be tricky to work with Rosa watching her...

Rosa watched as Amy's brow furrowed in concentration. She was going to have to keep a careful eye on her if she didn't want Amy purging. Maybe Jake was right. Perhaps she was going to need help with this. Rosa had already put Amy in hospital once, and she sure as hell didn't want to do it again. 

"Mmm, this is good!" Amy gestured to her meal with her fork "What did you put in it?" Rosa scoffed "Really, Santiago?" Amy rolled her eyes "You know I didn't mean it like that." Amy took another bite. It was good. Almost worth what she was going to force herself through as soon as Rosa's back was turned.

"Do you want me to do the dishes?" Rosa shook her head, collecting the plates "Go have a lie-down." Amy stared at Rosa, hardly able to believe her luck. "Cool! I'll just go do that then." She stood up awkwardly, waiting for Rosa to change her mind and insist she stayed where she could be seen. "Go on then." Amy grinned broadly and vanished into her bedroom.

Rosa carried the plates through to the kitchen and started to fill the sink with warm, soapy water, heart pounding in her chest. She was panicking about nothing. Amy had eaten her meal with no objections and had been doing so for a while now. The bathroom still had no door, so Amy was unlikely to risk it. It was fine. She was being paranoid.

Amy swallowed her carb blockers in one gulp. Not that there was much carb in the meal anyway. Sighing, she lay on the floor and began her workout. 

Rosa slowly crept up to Amy's door. She'd been hoping she was imagining the low thuds and rippled through Amy's floorboards. She took a deep breath before sticking her head around the door. Amy was in the middle of doing sit-ups. She was drenched in sweat, and her body was trembling. 

Rosa's heart sank. She'd been so stupid. She wanted to burst in there and then, but that was only going to destroy Amy's trust. She needed that. Rosa closed her eyes and stood back from the door, wiping her tears away furiously. 

Rosa was drying the dishes when Jake returned her call. "What's this about Rosa?" Rosa sighed, already regretting the words she was about to spit out. "You were right." Jake chuckled "Rosa Diaz, look at you, admitting you were wrong." Rosa growled, "Stop gloating." Jake sighed contentedly " Alright, want me to come over now?" Rosa glanced towards Amy's bedroom "Yeah, do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't force an anorexic to recover. They have to want it. No amount of Babysitting is going to compensate for that. Unfortunately, Rosa doesn't know that... yet.
> 
>  
> 
> Is it me or is my writing slipping in quality? I had to rewrite this twice and I'm still not entirely pleased. Advice appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa has a panic attack and injures herself in the process. Gina takes Rosa to the hospital, giving Amy and Jake alone time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest chapter so far, at 3,332 words :D We have just a slight dusting of peraltago and Dianetti. Although more of the former than the latter.

TW: CALORIES, SELF HATE, PANIC ATTACKS, SELF HARM, TALK ABOUT CAUSES OF EDs

Rosa stood over the sink, crying to herself. How could she have been so fucking stupid? She couldn't do this. She couldn't deal with her friend secretly purging. But she couldn't leave, either. 

Rosa didn't feel real anymore. It was as if she was watching herself from another part of the room. She needed to make herself feel something. Anything.

Amy stopped doing press ups and fell still. She was sure she just heard a crash. "Rosa?" There was no reply. Sighing, Amy stood up and walked towards the kitchen "I heard a crash, you oka-?" Amy trailed off when she saw the amount of glass that surrounded Rosa. Rosa was stood, rocking slightly, over the kitchen sink, gasping for breath in between tears. 

Just for a moment, she was frozen, unsure of what to do. Rosa had a no touch rule. But she also had a no expressing emotions rule. Was it okay to break the rule this time? 

Fuck it. They had to have each other's backs. 

"No, no, no, no, no..." Amy rushed to her friend, careful to avoid the glass. Wiping Rosa's raven hair out of her eyes, Amy guided her to the ground. "You're okay. It's okay." 

Part of Amy still expected Rosa to shove her back, or threaten bodily harm, but she didn't do that. Rosa just leaned into Amy and let her legs give way. Amy pulled her into a hug, whispering reassurances and rocking her gently. Something warm and wet was leaking into her clothes. Looking down, Amy realised Rosa's hand was bleeding. Pulling off her tee shirt, she wrapped it around Rosa's hand to try to stem the flow of blood. What on earth happened to get her into this state?

Rosa couldn't stop crying. It was embarrassing, but she was at the point of not caring anymore. Amy wasn't recovered. Rosa's mind was screaming at her, berating her for being so stupid, for letting Amy in a room on her own. Her vision was fading, blurring beyond reconstruction around the edges. She could hear Amy's voice, but couldn't decode the sounds it was making. She was vanishing...

Amy knew she needed to get help, but she didn't want to leave Rosa. She didn't have a phone on her, and her landline was disconnected. When a loud knock rippled through her apartment, she was more relieved than scared. "Stay here." Amy detangled herself from Rosa's body, which flopped despondently on the floor as soon as she was no longer there to prop it up, and went to answer the door.

Amy was in shorts and a bra, dripping with sweat and still trembling slightly post workout, but she couldn't care less. Jake does though. "Not interrupting anything am I?" he asked, chuckling to himself. "Jake! Thank God you're here!" Amy grabs his hand and begins to pull him towards Rosa, unable to think of the words to make him hurry up. "Oh okay, it's like that is it?" Amy growled frustratedly "Jake! Not everything is about sex, okay? Just... go into the kitchen." Amy shook her head, determined not to cry as well, and shoved him over to the kitchen where Rosa lay curled up in a ball.

What's going on Am- Fuck." Jake ran to Rosa, throwing himself down on the tiles beside her "What happened?" Amy was stood just behind him "I don't know. I found her like this." Jake took in Amy's appearance, and it clicked. "Okay, someone needs to call Gina. This cut needs to be looked at." Amy blinked. Was she being thick or did this have nothing to do with Holt's assistant? "Why?" Jake rolled his eyes as he squeezed Rosa's bleeding hand through Amy's top. "They're smooshing booties, and unless you want Gina here looking after you, she's got to take Rosa to the ER so I can stay with you."

Amy didn't know what was worse. The term smooshing booties or the thought of Gina (of all people) being left to babysit her. "I'm not a child; I can look after myself you know." Jake bit his tongue hard to control himself. Rosa had been with her less than a day and was already having a nervous breakdown. "My phone's in my back pocket," Amy grumbled to herself but did as she was asked while Jake tried to calm Rosa down.

Gina was stood at Amy's door less than 10 minutes later. "Oh hun, you look awful! I can see why you didn't want to go to the ER with Rosa now." Amy was slightly taken aback. Part of her wanted to ask Gina exactly what was wrong, so she had a second opinion on her body, but Rosa's snuffles were a reminder there wasn't time. "You're needed in the kitchen." Amy had never been this firm with Gina before, and it felt kind of good. Gina snorted and shoved Amy out of the way "You make it sound as if my services aren't always required." 

Rosa had calmed down by the time Gina found her, but her running eyeliner was evident of how worked up she'd been. "Oh, sweetie..." Gina gingerly dodged the glass before gently lowering herself onto the floor and stiffly wrapping her arms around Rosa. Amy stared at Jake - what was happening? "Come on, let's get you to the ER." Gina, much to the bewilderment of Amy and Jake, helped Rosa off the floor and guided her to the door.

Gina paused before leaving. "I'm taking Rosa back to mine after this." She smirked "Jake - you're in charge, I know it's a challenge for you, but try not to destroy anything." Glancing at Jake, who was secretly glancing at the topless Amy out of the corner of his eye, Gina turned to Amy. "Amy - try not to get pregnant." Amy's mouth dropped open "Are you calling me a whore?" Gina tilted her head in faux thought "Nobody would ever pay you, so you're more like a slut." Amy blinked. And with that, Gina Linetti left.

Jake chuckled awkwardly "Don't listen to her; I would totally pay to... you know....." Amy glared at Jake in disbelief "Because I'm the type who'd do it for money aren't I?" She'd stormed off to her bedroom before Jake had a chance to correct his statement. 

Rosa lay numbly in the reclined passenger seat of Gina's car. Thoughts of Amy purging swirled around her mind, but she was too tired to fight them off.

Jake knocked on Amy's door, balancing a tray of food with his free hand. "Amy? I'm sorry." There was no response "Can I come in? I've got food." Jake waited for a second. "Okay." Jake smiled and gently pushed the door open. "Hey, you." He whispered, approaching Amy, who was curled up in a ball on her bed. She sniffed but didn't unravel herself. 

"I didn't know if you would be hungry, but I figured I'd bring you a little food, just in case." Jake set the tray down on Amy's bedside table "Here." Jake rearranged the pillows, so Amy was comfortably sitting against them before placing the food tray across her lap "Eat up." Amy stared down at the reheated chicken in mushroom sauce. She was hungry. 

"What you thinking about?" Amy debated telling him a lie, but as she leaned against the pillows he set up for her, she realised that he genuinely cared. "How I'm hungry but don't want to eat." Jake sighed before slipping his hand into hers "Why don't you want to eat?" Amy thought about it. She wasn't entirely sure, there was something screaming calorie content, but she didn't know why. "Are you scared of being fat?" Amy nodded "Is it because you don't want people to judge you for your looks?" How had Jake gotten so good at this? "It's like every time I walk down the street, or pick up a magazine, or watch tv, or go online there's a voice in my head telling me I should look like her." Amy could feel herself slowly falling into a panic attack, but she didn't care. She had to get it out. To speak her truth. 

"I want to be pretty. To be loved. I want to be picked up and made to feel like the prettiest girl in existence. But you only get that if you're skinny. Nobody wants a fat girl." Jake's heart broke as he listened to Amy vent about what men wanted in a girl. It wasn't untrue. Some men were like that. But not him. "Ames..." Jake lifted Amy's chin, stroking her tears away with his thumb. "You're so much more than the number on the scales. Please don't define yourself by it." Amy looked away "But I'm not, am I?" Jake didn't know what to say, so instead, he pulled Amy into a hug. "I loved you even before you lost weight." Amy stuck her head out from Jake's jumper, wiping away tears with her hand and sitting herself up with the other.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. I mean I did, but not in the way it came out." Jake paused, searching for the right words "I like you, Amy. Romantic stylz like you." Amy's heart was thudding so fast she thought it was going to explode. "I think you're beautiful," Jake whispered, resting his arm on Amy's hip, making her mouth go dry. "And not just because of the way you look, although, that is a reason because you are drop dead gorgeous whether you know it or not."Amy smiled to herself. Just a little. "I love your passion for your work, you're so organised and hardworking, and I know I tease you for it sometimes, but it's my way of expressing how much you mean to me." Amy forced herself to bring her gaze up to Jake's eyes. "I like you too."

Before she knew what was happening, Jake wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, tilting her head back against his arm, and pressing his lips to hers, gently at first. The taste of peppermint and a rush of warm, foggy weakness crashed over her, making her cling onto him as the only stable thing in this dizzy world.

Amy had never been kissed like this before.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Gina slumped herself into the chair next to Rosa, clutching a clipboard with a form on it. "The bitch behind the desk says we've got to fill this out before you can be seen," Rosa grunted. She'd cleaned her makeup off her skin using the wipes Gina had given to her, so now no trace of her breakdown was visible. It was embarrassing enough having Gina, Amy and Jake witness her sudden display of emotions without having to tell Gina all of her personal details. 

"Adress?" Rosa glared at Gina. "Come on; you need to tell me so we can get you patched up and then get the fuck out of here." Rosa growled, "Bite me." Gina smirked, "Later. Let's get you patched up first." Rosa rolled her eyes. Gina was an egotistical ass. Although a hot one at that. Gina snorted at the question she was about to read. "When was your last menstrual period?" Rosa snarled. Even with an injured hand wrapped in Amy's tee shirt, she was somehow still able to make the menace real. "Don't worry, I can guess the answer," Gina remarked dryly. 

 

Just when Rosa was convinced she was going to have to banish Gina to the car, she was finally called through to a small side room. The nurse was middle-aged, with pinned back brunette hair and what appeared to be a permanent scowl on her face. "Stand on those" The nurse pointed to the scales. Rosa wasn't flustered. She prefers a harsh nurse over a softer one. "125 pounds exactly." Rosa's mind was clouding over. She was nearly two stone heavier than Amy, even in her better state. How could someone lose that much weight? How could someone be that skinny and be classed 'healthy' enough to leave the hospital? 

"Sit." The nurse's sharp tone brought Rosa out of her thoughts. Gina had put her phone down and was staring at her. "You okay? You don't look good." Rosa nodded, fairly certain if she tried to speak she'd cry. She sat in a daze while the nurse took her obs and medical history. "Take this, wait out there, and someone will call you through." 

 

Gina helped Rosa back to her seat. "You don't look good girl. Do you want me to get a nurse?" Rosa shook her head furiously. "Okay, well if you change your mind, tell me." Gina turned back to her phone, and the pair sat in complete silence. Rosa thought about Amy. How was Jake getting on? Was he keeping an eye on her? Was he going to make sure she ate the meal she'd left out? Wait, did she tell Jake she'd already cooked? What if he tries to make Amy eat one of his disgusting creations? Maybe she should text him. Oh crap. Her phone was in Amy's flat.

 

"Rosa? It's our turn." Rosa shook her head vigorously, dragging herself out of her mind. The nurse that saw them this time was friendly and introduced herself before peeling off Amy's tee shirt and examining the wound. "Well, I don't think there's any major ligament damage, but there might be glass in it so you'll need an x-ray." Rosa's heart sank. "Can't you just glue it and let me go home?" The nurse shook her head "No, sorry. Sit tight, and I'll send someone up to escort you down to xray." 

Rosa was not a child. She hadn't broken a lower limb, and she could walk just fine without aid, even if her head were swirling a little from the thought of Amy's weight. So why the porter made her sit in a wheelchair to go down to x-ray, she didn't know. Nobody makes Rosa Diaz do things she doesn't want to do. Apart from random hospital porters with no manners, apparently. 

Rosa sighed as Gina offered her hand to help her transfer from the wheelchair to the bed that lay in front of her. "I don't need any help." Gina raised an eyebrow but removed her hand before slumping in a chair and staring at her phone. Rosa's mind drifted back to Amy. Was she coping? Was Jake coping? Had they eaten?....

"Good news!" The nurse walked in beaming, bringing Rosa around from her thoughts. "There's no glass in your wound so we can stitch you up here." Rosa froze. "Stitches?" Gina looked up from her phone, grinning. "Want me to hold your hand?" The way Gina says it makes it clear she was mocking Rosa for her fear of needles. Rosa chose to ignore her. "Can't you just glue it?" The nurse shook her head "It's too deep and in the wrong place from that." 

 

Gina took hold of Rosa's (good) hand as the nurse carried a drawer filled with horrible torture instruments into the room, and set it down on the bed. Rosa's heart began to flutter as she looked away, trembling ever so slightly. "You needle phobic?" Rosa nodded. Not daring to say a word in case it came out as a growl. "It's two pokes, and then you won't feel anything, okay?" Rosa nodded again. "What I'm going to do is use a bit of local cream, so it doesn't hurt as much." Rosa had had enough of the faffing around. "Stab me! Just do it!" Both the nurse and Gina jumped at the sudden noise. "Are you okay?" Rosa stopped snarling, but kept the firm tone in her voice "I'm psyching myself up." The nurse nodded slowly before attempting to continue. Rosa began to yell again, only louder this time. The nurse put the needle down "Okay, you know what, I'm going to get my colleague." 

"Well done Diaz, you've scared the nurse off," Gina smirked. "Shut up." Even though Rosa was sweating profusely, Gina knew she was capable of ripping her fabulous body to shreds, so she didn't dare utter another word, instead choosing to take her hand and run her thumb over it. "You don't look good." Rosa shrugged "Don't like needles." Gina sighed "You're worried about Amy aren't you?" Rosa shook her head "No." she lied.

Another over friendly doctor came into the cubicle, introducing himself. Just what Rosa needed. Another friendly ass. She wanted to go back and check on Amy. Maybe she should ask Gina for her phone, so she could at least ring Jake. "That okay with you?" Rosa realised she hadn't been paying attention in the least. "Yeah." She looked at Gina for clues as to what she'd just consented to. The redhead simpered as she squeezed Rosa's hand a little tighter. Rosa was reasonably sure that wasn't a good sign. 

"Okay, I need to do this myself, so if you could just lie back on the bed and tilt your head upwards." Rosa did as she was asked, but eyed the doctor warily. She gasped as he pulled out a syringe with a weird white nozzle on it. Where had she seen one of them before? "This has no needle on it, okay?" Rosa nodded "Okay, tilt your head right back for me." Rosa gripped Gina's hand so tight she was fairly sure she was going to bruise. Gina was being very good about it, actually, an- oh! Cold! Rosa snorted slightly as the doctor pushed the cool liquid up her nose. Gina began laughing "I wish you could see your face right now!" The doctor smiled politely "We'll be back to check on you in a few moments." Wait, wasn't the doctor going to sew Rosa up? What was happening?

 

"Gina, what the fuck was that?" Gina smirked, "You mean you don't remember?" Rosa blinked "No, I got caught up in thinking about Amy." Gina raised her eyebrows "Well let's just say you won't be doing that in a second." Gina burst out laughing.

Then Rosa remembered when she'd seen the strange nozzle before.

Oh... fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this guys?  
> I've been panicking over it for two days now, but I'm finally happy it's ready to be posted. I'd love to do smut, but sadly I'm not confident in it yet :( Oh well, there's some pretty cute scenes in this so you'll have to make do....
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY STATING EVERYONE'S EXPERIENCE WITH AN ED, THIS IS MINE, IN A DIFFERENT FORMAT. I HAD REASONS X,Y,J AND ANOTHER PERSON MIGHT HAVE REASONS A,K,W ECT ECT, NOR AM I STATING THAT A RELATIONSHIP IS A CURE FOR AN ED. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS AN ED, DOESN'T MEAN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE HAS TO COMPLETELY STOP AND EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IS FOCUSED ON CALORIES. IT IS A LARGE PORTION OF ED LIFE (98%) BUT NOT ALL OF IT. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, advice/tips/prompts appreciated - If you need to chat, my Tumblr is B99FANGIRLNEXTDOOR all lowercase :) 
> 
> EDIT - 22.1.17 - I have come down with a bad case of writers' block :( I'll try to get something up by end of this week at the latest. 
> 
>  


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy continues to battle with disordered thoughts, and Rosa wakes up in Gina's bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!
> 
>  
> 
> This is not what I intended to write originally, but it works for me. Gina is trying desperately to teach Rosa to relax and have some fun, but just when things get good, Jake calls her. 
> 
> So this chapter, Rosa still sees Amy as the girl with an eating disorder. She still drops everything even when she doesn't want to, to go help. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it can cause burnout and that's really no fun at all. Rosa's about to get her veiws changed in the next chapter ;)

Amy sat up, panting. She was drenched in sweat, her nose blocked from crying so hard. It was only a dream. She was okay. Amy slipped her legs away from Jake's body slowly, letting them land with a soft thud. Scales aren't quiet. In an ideal world, they'd be kept in the bathroom, but currently, Amy's bathroom had no door, and at least if she was caught by the bed, she could claim she wasn't trying to hide it. Amy had taped the speaker holes, so it didn't make as much noise, and so far it had done the trick.

Taking a deep breath, Amy stepped on. She closed her eyes as the scales flickered around, trying to adjust to the tiny quivers in Amy's legs. Amy hated this part. For 10 seconds, she was trapped in one position as a machine decided whether or not she'd eat the next day. It beeped. Opening her eyes, Amy steadied herself and glanced down. 

99 pounds

Thank fuck. Amy didn't know how it had happened, but it had. She was one pound closer to her UGW. Now it was time to make sure it stays that way.

 

Jake awoke to the sound of gentle thumping on the floor. "Amy?" The thumping stopped. "Amy, what are you doing?" Jake sat up, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his phone "It's four in the morning." Amy sat up, shrugging her shoulders "Couldn't sleep." Jake knew that it was a lie, but he didn't have the energy to argue. "Come back to bed." Amy hesitated but didn't want to upset Jake, so she reluctantly got back into bed with him. "Roll over. I want to be the little spoon." Amy rolled her eyes but did as he asked and spooned him.

"I wish you didn't have to go to work today." Amy was laying in Jake's arms, basking in the morning sunlight that streamed through her curtains. "I know." Jake was barely awake, but he knew he was going to have to get up and move soon if he didn't want to be called out for tardiness for the umpteenth time that month. Not that it bothered him that much. "I can't believe they won't let me go into work yet," Jake grunted his reply, still half asleep. "Shall I get up and make you breakfast in bed?" Jake shook his head, opening his eyes "I know me getting food poisoning is probably part of your master plan, but I'll pass." Amy slapped him in the stomach playfully. "Hey!" 

Amy watched as Jake served himself breakfast, carefully mimicking him so he wouldn't worry about her portion size, promising herself she'd exercise it off when he was gone. "Nice big breakfast you've got there." Amy grinned "Well, I'm going to need my energy for tonight, aren't I?" Jake chuckled and pulled Amy into him so he could kiss her hair "I'm so proud of you." 

Amy ate with renewed vigour, thoroughly enjoying the taste, reassuring herself that she'd been good this week in following her rules and that it definitely could be worked off easily. Jake watched her, beaming with apparent pride. "I'm going to call Rosa after breakfast so you're not on your own today." Amy stopped chewing.

Fuck.

A cool breeze pulled Rosa from her slumber. Her mouth was dry, and a warm body was pressed up against hers. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She was in Gina's bed, wearing the same clothes as she was yesterday. Or was that today? "Gina?" the words were only just audible. Gina glanced up from her phone "Mhm?" Rosa opened and closed her mouth like a fish, trying to find the words "What am I doing here?" Gina smirked, "You don't remember?" Rosa shook her head a little as Gina returned to looking at her phone. "You hurt your hand, had to get stitches, and I had to carry you back here because you were too out of it to stay on your own." Rosa blinked a few times before lifting her splinted hand to her face and staring at it. It felt... weird, but didn't hurt. 

"I want to go see Amy." Gina put her phone down and slid her arm across Rosa's toned stomach. "You sure about that? I've called us both in sick." Throwing her leg over Rosa's hip, she pulled herself up, so she was sat on top of Rosa. "We've got the whole day to ourselves," Gina whispered as she pressed her lips to Rosa's.

 

Rosa hesitated. She wanted to spend the day in bed with Gina, but at the same time, she needed to make sure Amy was okay. Also, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to put weight on her hand. Gina pulled away when Rosa didn't kiss her back. "Amy will be fine, Diaz. Jake's there with her." Rosa sighed. “I wasn’t thinking about Amy.” Gina raised her eyebrows. “Yes, you were. You-“ Rosa cut her off, flipping Gina onto her back, making her squeal. “Shut up.” 

Gina struggled for a second before relaxing. Something about being pinned like this excited her. She settled back into the flurry of pillows behind her, enjoying Rosas coconut scent. “Is this okay?” Rosa released the pressure ever so slightly as she scanned ginas face for discomfort. “Girl, yes! Although I would prefer to be on the top, on this occasion, I wil-“ Rosa rolled her eyes, cutting Gina off “If anything hurts or you want me to stop, tell me, otherwise shut up.” With that, Rosa roughly kissed the redhead. Gina had never been kissed like this before; it was addictive. 

The faint taste of whisky lingered as Rosa broke away, sitting up and tugging her top over her head. "In a hurry, Diaz?" Gina teases, enjoying the look of inpatient lust in her lovers' dark eyes. Rosa growls before leaning in and lifting Gina's chin with her forefinger "Did I give you permission to speak?" Gina shook her head. "Do it again, and I'll gag you. Understood?" Gina closed her eyes as ripples of satisfaction spread throughout her body. "Linetti!" Gina opened her eyes and nodded. Rosa sat up, seemingly content with her wordless response, and slid off Gina's body. "Take your clothes off, but leave your panties on." She pulled the duvet off her bed, before climbing back onto watch Gina strip.

Pushing Gina back into the pillows, Rosa climbs on and sits on Gina's thigh, lowering her head to Gina's left breast. It's sort of awkward with only one hand to support her, but she's encouraged when Gina tilts her head back, moaning as her tongue darted out, tracing little circles over Gina's hardening nipples. Slowly, she lowered her mouth onto them, sucking, gently at first, before racking up the intensity.

Gina was sure she'd never been this aroused in her life. Usually, the sub position didn't work for her, but today it did, or perhaps it was just the person she was with. Ethier way, it was fucking amazing.

Both breasts red and swollen, Rosa began to kiss her way down Gina's stomach. Rosa's good hand slowly ran down to the hem of Gina's panties, dragging her nail lightly over the ridge of her sex, making Gina gasp and squirm. Rosa glanced up, pulling her tongue back into her mouth. "You want me to touch you there?" Gina was just about to nod frantically when her phone rang.

Fuck.

Or not.

 

Rosa sat back onto her ankles, reaching for Gina's phone. “Just ignore it. There are lots of people who want my time, and if I gave it out to everyone who wanted some, I'd have none left.” Rosa shook her head, picking up the phone “It might be Jake or Amy.” Gina huffed “Amy’s an adult, she can look after herse- mmfff!“ Using her head to hold the phone against her shoulder, Rosa pressed her finger up against Gina's mouth, silencing her while she answered her phone. “Diaz.” 

"Rosa?" Jake turned to Amy and pulled a face, making her chuckle. "I was expecting Gina." Rosa sighed. "I'm kind of busy here, What do you want, Jake?" Jake grinned to himself "Have you been running?" There was a silence as Rosa wordlessly asked Gina's permission. She nodded. "I'm boning Gina, or at least I was trying to." Rosa knew Jake well enough to give him time to make inappropriate comments for a few moments before cutting him off. "Why did you call me?" Jake caught his breath "I need to go into work and was wondering if you could come and keep an eye on Amy, but if you and Gina are getting it on, don't worry." Rosa looked down the desperate topless girl under her. She didn't want to, but she had to. "Don't be stupid. Be there in ten."

 

"So that's it? You're just going to leave me here?" Gina sat up, indignantly glaring at Rosa, who was already getting dressed. "Believe me,I don't want to go, but she's our friend and she needs me. " Gina snorted "She's your friend." Rosa stopped buttoning up her (Gina's) shirt and approached the bed, making Gina's mouth go dry. "Don't be a bitch, Gina. Amy's life is crap right now and she needs help." Gina pulled a face. How was she this attracted to someone who clearly didn't realise what an incredible person she was? " What am I meant to do about this?" Gina gestured to her soaked panties and the patch of damp underneath them. "Wash them?" Gina rolled her eyes, sighing to herself. "Use your imagination, Linetti. I'll be back before you know it." and with that, Rosa strode out of the room, leaving Gina sat on the bed semi-naked and uncomfortably wet.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Amy whispered as Jake pulled her into his warm body in farewell. He nuzzled that spot behind her ear she had once mentioned in a drunken game of truth or dare, sending shivers down her spine. "I know. I'll be back before you know it." Amy whined softly, tilting her head back as Jake slid his mouth down her neck, nibbling gently. A knock that rattled through the apartment separated them in an instant.

"That'll be Rosa." Jake pulled on his leather jacket and grabbed his bag before opening the door, grinning at the chaotic mess that stood glaring at him. "Is that Gina's top?" Rosa punched Jake in the stomach, before barging past him. "I'm taking a shower." Amy nodded dumbfoundedly "Help yourself to anything you need." Jake made a face at Amy "Someone's got the gwumpies."

Amy was watching tv when Rosa emerged from the bathroom. "Still haven't got the door fixed, I see." Amy switched off the tv and nodded "Yeah, I've not got around to it yet." Rosa continued through to the kitchen "What do you want for breakfast?" Amy shook her head "Already eaten." Rosa stepped back from the fridge, not sure whether to believe Amy or not. Maybe she should text Jake, to be sure "Do you know where my phone is?" Amy shook her head "Sorry. But there's beer if you want some." Picking one up, Rosa turned to Amy "Thanks. Sorry I punched your boyfriend earlier." Amy nearly had an aneurysm. "My what now?" 

Amy and Jake had agreed not to tell anyone they were dating until they'd figured out what their relationship was, so how Rosa knew was beyond her. "Jake. You're dating." Rosa stated. "How do you know about that?" Rosa scoffed, advancing towards Amy with a beer clutched in her good hand. "You're covered in hickies." Amy self consciously placed her hand over the side of her neck "Doesn't mean we're dating." Rosa raised an eyebrow, slumping down on the couch next to Amy. "So Gina was right? You're a slut?" Amy pulled a face, disgusted "No!" Rosa smirked. "So, if you don't bone people meaninglessly, it means you're into dating." Amy rolled her eyes. Rosa had always been a skilled detective. "Fine. Jake and I are dating. What's the big deal?" Rosa shrugged slightly. "It's not. I was trying to apologise." 

"So what's going on with you and Gina?" Rosa hesitated. Normally she didn't talk about her love life. "We're just friends." Amy grinned darkly. "Pissed her off coming to babysit me, huh?" Rosa shook her head "I'm not talking about this with you, Santiago." Amy let her mouth drop open in mock horror "Fine. But we don't do enough girly things together." Rosa scoffed "When have we ever done 'girly things' together? You know that's not my style." Amy sighed, setting her gaze on Rosa's splint. She was beginning to worry about Rosa's mental health.

Amy had been keeping a list of all the 'un - Rosa' things Rosa had been doing recently, and so far, this was the list:

1\. Noticed before anyone else that Amy was sick

2\. Continued to include me even when Amy was grumpy

3\. Caught me when Amy fainted

4\. Carried her through the bullpen

5\. Blew off work

6\. Took Amy to the doctor

7\. Bottle fed Amy

8\. Stayed at Amy's place so she wasn't alone with my thoughts

9\. Cooked for her

10\. Helped her tell Holt and Jake,

11\. Kept an eye on her at work

12\. Gave up her lunch break to get Amy to the hospital

13\. Slept on a hospital chair for a week

14\. She just gave up sex to come to babysit Amy

15\. That's not including all the lovely things she's bought for Amy, said to her, all the times she's had her back even when she wasn't well herself

Amy had to get Rosa to see her as something other than the anorexic, preferably before she seriously hurt (again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have exactly 0 ideas on how to write smut, and it is hilarious watching me try to write it. Hopefully this isn't God awful and I pray I'll get better at it as time goes on.
> 
> serious NB: The reason I decided to use (sort of) smut in this chapter was because I wanted to show you guys Rosa's thought process around it. She really really really wants to have sex with Gina. She's not thinking about Amy. Both ladies are having fun. Then, she gets a call from Jake and suddenly everything goes to pot.
> 
> SPOILER:
> 
> Next chapter, we'll see Rosa realise Amy's more than the girl with the eating disorder :D


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa and Amy go ice skating together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this! I went through what can only be described as writers crisis. My problem, not yours, but that's why I took forever in writing this.
> 
> Let me know how you like it! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, as are tips and reviews <3

"Why don't we go ice skating?" 

Rosa's face contorted as she choked on her beer. Amy grinned as she patted her friends back. "It'll be fun!" Wiping her face with the back of her sleeve Rosa shook her head. "It'll be a good bonding experience." Rosa snorted. "We've never done girly stuff before, we don't have to start now." Amy bit her lip, thinking about her list, taking a deep breath, she blurted it out. "Look, I know you caught me purging yesterday." Rosa went pale, suddenly looking away. "How did you know about that?" Amy raised an eyebrow "You took Gina with you to the hospital and got high on sedatives. She live streamed the entire thing." Why was Rosa not surprised?

"Look, we don't have to go for long, but I am sick of being stuck inside! Let's go out and do something fun!" Rosa sighed. She knew that this was a bad idea, that it could end with Amy being seriously hurt or frozen or both, but at the same time, Amy was an adult and was capable of making her own decisions. At least this way she could go with her and try to keep her safe. "Fine, but you're wearing a thick coat, and if you hurt yourself, I'm taking you to the hospital." Amy beamed, throwing her arms around Rosa's neck "Thank you!" Rosa groaned and pulled away "Alright, enough soppy stuff, get your coat and let's go get in the damn car." Amy knew that was Rosa speak for 'I'm looking forward to it very much.' 

 

Amy was excited. She was going ice skating with Rosa Diaz of all people. It was a brilliant excuse to flip the cards and have some fun at long last. Not to mention the cold tempreture combined with the exercise was a sure fire way of burning plenty of calories, although, she wasn't intending on disclosing that to Rosa.

She and Rosa sat in silence at first, driving along the busy Brooklyn roads. "You anxious, Santiago?" Amy shook her head "No, I'm good." Rosa rolled her eyes, knowing full well her companion was lying "Talk." "Hmm?" Rosa sighed "Like you do all the damn time Santiago, pick a subject and talk about it" Normally Rosa enjoyed the silence, but perhaps it was apprehension, or the drink, or both that made her want to chat. Amy stuttered for a minute, trying to choose a topic that wouldn't result in her being beaten up in some remote area. "Do you want to grab a pizza after this?"

Amy took a deep breath as she and Rosa paused outside the snowdome. "Thank you for this. I know this isn't your idea of a good time." Rosa rolled her eyes "Do you want to go in or not?" Amy grinned to herself as they ambled into the main lobby. Rosa was finally back.

"I can't believe you made me come here when you can't skate!" Amy grinned as she pulled her ice skates onto her feet "I've always wanted to learn, and now I'm off work it's the perfect opportunity!" Rosa sighed as she attempted to lace her skates "Urgh!" Amy glanced up from her feet "You okay Diaz?" Rosa sat upright "I can't get my stupid hand to lace these dumb boots!" Rosa started to pull her splint off "No no wait!" Amy yelped, covering her eyes. "Leave your splint on, I'll tie your laces for you." Rosa sighed "Fine." Amy looked up sheepishly "Just once you teach me how to tie them." 

Amy crouched down on the floor, carfully lacing the boots as Rosa rolled her eyes. "You know, in the non-American English-speaking world they are sometimes called 'death wellies' because they're known for giving the wearer best-." Rosa cut her off "Shut up Santiago. You had your chance to chat in the car." Amy grinns to herself but falls silent.

Rosa stands up first, expertly walking her way over to the edge of the ice. "You coming, Santiago?" Amy nods, shakily standing up and slowly shifting herself towards Rosa, Pingu style, making Rosa grin. "I take what I said back, this was a brilliant idea."

Amy pauses to watch as Rosa flawlessly steps onto the ice, skating a circuit before coming to a halt at the gate. "You're up, Santiago." Amy cautiously places her foot on the ice, gripping onto the side of the rink as she transferred her weight, but ultimately her leg slipps from under her, and she does the splits, one leg on dry land, the other (and her body) on the ice. Rosa pulls a face, resisting the urge to skate over to check she's okay. "Up you get!" Amy scrabbles at the ice desperately, trying to pull herself up. "If I knew how I would!" Rosa suppresses a smile as she skates over to Amy. "Hold onto the side, put your left knee up at a 90* angle and push yourself up through it." Amy does as she asks and miraculously manages to stand up.

20 minutes later, and Amy is skating, albeit wobbily, with the occasional fall. "Look at you Santiago! You'll be heading to the Olympics in no time!" Amy shoots Rosa a look "Hey! I've never skated before, I'm doing exceptionally!" Rosa snorts, pulling her body into an impressive looking twizzle. "Still can't do this though!" Amy grins "Yes I can."

Amazingly, she nearly pulls it off. If it weren't for that idiot child, it would have been perfect.

"I can't believe you got us banned!" Rosa grins as she marches Amy out of the building. "I know! I've never been banned from anything before! Stupid boy! What was he even doing standing in the middle of the rink?" Rosa snorts "I think you'll find he was skating." 

"What do you want?" Amy briefly glanced up at the overboard menu, feeling rather nauseous. "Um... just a margarita is fine." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Seriously?" And then it struck her. "Oh, I mean sure, have whatever you want, a margarita is cool." Amy sighed to herself. What the hell, she'd been good all week and had just been ice skating. "I'll also have extra large fries and a large lemonade." She grinned triumphantly at a shocked Rosa "Please." Amy added, suddenly remembering her manners, making Rosa scoff.

"This is good!" Rosa's mouth was full of pizza, so it was a little hard to understand her, but Amy got the gist. "It is, isn't it?" Amy took a large bite out of hers. "I'd never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Boyle," Rosa grunted in agreement, wiping the sauce off her nose with a tissue. "We should do this more often." Rosa raised an eyebrow "Go ice skating or pizza eating?" Amy giggled "Both!"

Despite being banned from the snowdome, Amy was proud of herself. She'd eaten pizza. One of her major no-no foods. She thought about how proud Jake would be when she told him, and for her, that was enough to keep her from panicking too much.

The drive home was filled with comfortable silence. Just how Rosa liked it. She was grateful to Amy for braving her fears and getting her out of the rut they'd been in recently. 

"Here we are." Amy pulled up outside Gina's apartment. "Why are we here?" Amy turned to Rosa "I know you walked to my apartment this morning, so I figured the least I could do was drop you off on my way to pick Jake up." Rosa hesitated "Why don't we go back to yours and wait for Jake to come home? He's got his car over at the precinct anyway, it doesn't make sense to pick him up." Amy shook her head "He texted me when you were ordering our pizza, his car has broken down." Rosa scoffed "His car is a piece of shit." Amy giggled. "I know, I'm always telling him to get rid of it." Rosa bit her lip "Honestly, Rosa, I'll be fine. You go and make it up to Gina." Rosa sighed "I've lost my phone so call Gina if you have any issue and I'll be straight over." Amy nodded "I will. Promise." Rosa paused before getting out "I know you braved your pizza fear to eat with me, and it means a lot." Amy grinned "I enjoyed it. We should do it again sometime. Now, go, she's waiting for you." Amy playfully shoved Rosa who got out of the car without another word.

Amy sighed to herself as she drove by the precinct. 

"Don't all crowd me at once ladies!" Jake closed Amy's door behind him "I'm sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to get changed at home before I came over. Rosa, you're officially relieved of your duti-" Amy emerged from her bedroom "Hey babe, where's Rosa?" Amy rolled her eyes, pulling Jake into her "Something you're not telling me, Peralta?" She whispered as she pressed her lips to his. 

Jake pulled away "You okay babe? You're awfully warm." Amy nodded "Just warming myself up after Rosa and I went ice skating." Jake raised his eyebrows "I didn't know you could ice skate." Amy grinned to herself "That's never stopped you before." Jake rolled his eyes "I thought we agreed never to talk about that? It happened once!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so important to have fun if you're caring for someone <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has a breakdown in a Walmart car park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY this took so long. I must have written this about 6 or 7 times. It's a touch rushed, so I might edit it slightly, but the premise remains the same 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for supporting me through this, I'm hoping to do a podfic soon so those who are VI or struggling with dyslexia can enjoy it as well without having to listen to a robot voice <3

Amy stood in front of her mirror, pinching the bits of her body she didn't like, which at the moment, was all of her. She didn't hear Jake creep up behind her, watching intently with tears in his eyes.

Rosa grumbled to herself as she woke up and reached for her phone. "Diaz." Her voice was croaky, but Jake didn't ask why. "You've got to get over here. Amy's having another breakdown, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore." Jake was whispering but sounding more than a little bit panicked. Rosa sighed "I'll be there in 10." 

Gina was awake by this point, watching her partner as she lay back on her pillow, arm over her eyes to hide the tears. "Amy?" Rosa nodded, not trusting herself to speak. "You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." Rosa wiped her eyes "I know." Gina gently stroked her arm "No, I don't think you do." Rosa sighed, sitting herself up and swinging her legs over the edge of her bed "Shut up Linetti. She's my friend." Gina groaned, not quite believing what she was about to say "Stay here and catch up with some sleep. I'll go meet Jake and help him with Amy." Rosa shook her head "No, that's not fair on you, I promised Jake I'll go, so I'm going." She began rooting through her draws, finding an old tee shirt and jeans to wear. "Then I'm coming with you." 

Jake looked awful. His pale skin was a stark contrast to his unwashed scruffy hair and large purple bags underneath his eyes. "Where is she?" Rosa didn't even bother to wait for a reply, shoving past Jake and running towards the bathroom. Gina grinned up at Jake "I blew off sleep to grace you with my presence this morning, you're welcome." 

Rosa found Amy doing situps in the corner of her bedroom, behind the bed. "Amy?" Amy quickly sat herself up "Rosa? What are you doing here? It's like 3:30 am." Rosa crouched by Amy, noting that she was beginning to look thin again. "I came to check you were okay. Jake said you were a bit upset earlier?" Amy tried to conceal her panic as she squeaked out a "No!" Rosa raised her eyebrow "What's going on, Santiago?" Amy shrugged, smiling at Rosa "I've no idea what you mean. I'm fine." Rosa rolled her eyes and quickly scooped Amy into her arms "Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!" Amy struggled but Rosa held her firmly against her chest as she carried her into the living room.

"Jake, where do you keep the scales?" Jake looked up from the sofa where he and Gina were sat "Got rid of them, why? What's going on?" Rosa sighed "Gina grab my car keys, let's go." All three of them stared at her, unanimous statements of shock and confusion rippling through the room as Rosa carried Amy to the door. "Gina! I asked you to get my keys! Jake stop staring at me, put your beer down and let's go." 

"Where are we going exactly?" Amy was beginning to panic. The crazy lady who normally wears all leather had just grabbed her and put her in the car, now she was driving her and her friends somewhere, but she didn't know where. "We're going to the 24/7 supermarket down the road." Jake stuck his head between the two front seats "What? Why are we going there?" He turned to Gina "Gina what is going on with your girlfriend? Why has she kidnapped us?" Gina was staring blankly at her phone. Not my girlfriend, and I don't know." Rosa rolled her eyes "Guys, calm down, I'm taking us to the supermarket so we can buy a scales and weigh Santiago." Gina snorted "And I thought I was the dramatic one." 

"Turn around. Don't look down." Amy did as she was asked, reluctantly turning herself to face Rosa and her friends. Being weighed in a Walmart 24/7 carpark at 4 in the morning wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts wasn't her idea of fun. Rosa peered down at the scale number. She knew she had to stay calm for Amy, but right now she wanted to scream. "What is it?" Amy's voice was quiet, trembling, even. "It's okay Santiago. You're okay." Amy shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks "What is it?" Jake approached Amy, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close as he mouthed 'what is it?' at Rosa. '81' was mouthed back. Jake gripped onto his girlfriend tighter, her bones digging into him, as he fought back the tears.

Amy hated herself for feeling proud. She didn't know the exact number, but she lost. That's all that mattered. Or was it? She nuzzled into her boyfriend, realising he was a few seconds away from tears. Rosa had fallen very still and quiet. Gina had put her phone away and was hugging Rosa. She loved the way losing made her feel but hated what it was doing to her friends.

"What do we do now?" Rosa hesitated "The way I see it, we've got two options. We either come up with a schedule and one of stays with Amy at all times, and accompanies her everywhere, or hospital." Amy shook her head "Guys, I need to want to recover if I'm going to recover. Both those options mean I'll gain weight, but you can't keep it up forever, and eventually, I'll relapse again." Jake gripped onto Amy tighter. "Then want to recover." Amy shook her head "I'm never going to be happy with myself." Gina breaks away from Rosa. "What you saying?" Amy gently pushes Jake away from her, because as nice as his hugs are, he's cutting off her circulation. "I say we call it a day." Jake shakes his head "What? No! Don't be absurd." Amy wipes her tears away "I'm sorry... I... I can't. I just can't." 

"Yes, you can Santiago. Between Jake, Gina, Charles, Terry and I, we're going to get you through this." Rosa's tone was firm, almost demanding. Amy stepped off the scales, wrapping her arms around Rosa "I don't deserve you. It's too much." Rosa blinked rapidly. She was not going to cry, certainly not over Amy Santiago. "Ames... you do" Jake was full on hysterically sobbing now. Amy released Rosa and looked into Jake's gentle loving eyes. He deserved so much more than her. 

Amy fiercely wiped the tears away. She couldn't do this. She was making her friends sick. She quickly turned around and bolted in the direction of the main road.

"Amy? Amy!" Jake gave pursuit. "Gina, call an ambulance!" Rosa yelled over her shoulder as she charged towards the duo. 

Jake was stood a few meters away from Amy, who was stood on the curb to the main road, crying. "Amy, wait there. Don't move, okay?" Jake slowly shuffled himself closer to his girlfriend, arm out. "You're okay. I know it's hard now, but you're going to get through this, okay?" 

Everything was silent. Amy knew Jake was yelling something at her, but she couldn't decode the sounds his mouth was making. She looked to her right, noting a large truck driving towards her. Glancing back at Jake, she realised how tired he looked. She had to do this.

"Amy!"

 

 

 

 

Rose opened her eyes. The truck had stopped less than half a meter away from her. She could feel the heat coming off its engine from where she was stood. Turning around, she ran at full speed towards Amy, tackling her to the ground before she had a chance to jump in front of another car. 

Jake ran to them, crying "Are you both okay?" Rosa nodded, still holding a struggling Amy down. "Relax, Santiago, you're going nowhere." She rubbed Amy's shoulder with her free thumb "We'd better get her out of the road" Jake nodded, wiping his eyes and dragging Amy to safety by her shirt, with Rosa acting as a barrier between them and traffic.

Amy safely settled on the pavement with Jake holding her, Rosa glanced up to see Gina waiting for them. She instantly slapped Rosa across the face as she stood up "You asshat! I can't believe you jumped in front of a fucking truck!" Rosa rolled her eyes "I'm fine Linetti. You called an ambulance?" Gina nodded, pulling Rosa into a hug. "Don't you ever do that again."  
**************************************************************  
"I love you, Amy Santiago," Jake whispered as he pulled Amy in close and pressed his lips up against hers, making the whole bullpen, especially Charles, cheer. It had been 6 months since Amy jumped in front of the car, and she could say for certain she was on the road to recovery. It definitely wasn't easy. The first three months, when she was in the hospital, were especially hard on everyone. When she came home, Amy had told the squad and boy was she glad she did.

Gina was teaching her a new sense of style. Rosa taught her Yoga (which, on penalty of gruesome death, she wasn't to tell anyone). Charles rekindled her love for good food. Terry was helping her build up muscle again. Holt was mentoring her and she was only a year away from taking her Sargents exam. Amy and Jake had moved in together, and he managed to get her smile back with his stupid childish actions.

Amy still had moments where she hated her body with such a burning passion she didn't want to eat anymore, but they had a crisis plan in place, and it was working really well.

She wasn't quite there yet, but, with the help of her friends, she was kicking anorexia's ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you know someone who’s reluctant to eat for whatever reason. Try making them their favourite dinner, put it in front of them and encourage them to eat by eating yourself and making small talk.
> 
> One of my favourite foods my friends get me to eat when I’m feeling off is yogurt. Get a nice creamy version. Its high calorie but tends to get me hungry and if not at least lines my stomach 
> 
>  
> 
> If you suspect that a friend / family member may be suffering from an eating disorder, talk to them about it and seek professional help. It can be extremely dangerous to make someone eat if they’ve not been eating for a while.


End file.
